Inherited Emotions: Mature Version
by MaureenT
Summary: What if, in Summit and Last Stand, things happened differently, and Lantash went into Daniel instead of Lieutenant Elliot, leaving behind emotions after he died that neither Daniel nor Sam were prepared for? S&D romance. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**Inherited Emotions**

**Author:** MaureenT  
**Categories:** Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Romance  
**Content Warning:** Adult Themes, Mild Profanity, Sexual Content  
**Spoilers:** Anything before Meridian is fair game, specifically Summit and Last Stand.

**Author's Notes: **In this AU version of Summit/Last Stand, the attack on the Tok'ra base on Revanna happens several hours sooner, before Daniel and Jacob get the chance to go to the Goa'uld summit. You will need to have seen Summit/Last Stand in order to understand certain things in this story. **It contains a Daniel/Sam romance.**

* * *

***** IMPORTANT NOTICE ***  
Due to this archive's crackdown on sexual content in stories, I have changed all mature-rated scenes that may have been considered by the moderators to have an MA rating. The love scenes in this story have been replaced with the milder ones from the version of the story that had been rated Teen but now also has a Mature rating. I am keeping this version up because of the reviews attached to it. The real mature-rated version can still be found on my Web site at www .stargate-horizons. com (remove spaces). I welcome you to go there and read it, then come back here and review.**

CHAPTER ONE

When the alarm began sounding through the tunnels of the Tok'ra base, Daniel figured that it probably wasn't just a fire drill. A few moments later, he found out that he was right. The Tok'ra Ren Au informed them that a fleet of motherships was bearing down on the Tok'ra base. What was worse was that the Goa'uld had apparently dialed into the Stargate, deliberately blocking any hope of escape through it.

"I'm kind of guessing that I won't be going to that Goa'uld summit after all," the archeologist remarked as SG-1, Jacob and Ren Au strode quickly down a tunnel.

"I'd say that's a safe bet," Jack responded.

Sam glanced at her father. "Do you have any other ships here that you can evacuate people in besides the one you and Daniel were going to use for the mission?"

"I'm afraid not," Jacob replied. "All others are presently being used on missions."

Jack frowned. "You know, I kind of doubt that one little cargo ship is going to fit all of us."

"You are correct," Ren Au said. "But at least some of us will be spared. Above all, we must protect the formula for the symbiote poison. It must not fall into the hands of the Goa'uld."

Jack got on the radio. "Mansfield, come in,"

The leader of SG-17 replied. "Mansfield here, sir."

"In case you haven't already heard, things are going to be getting hot here very soon. We've got a fleet of Goa'uld ships coming our way, and the Stargate is a no-go. Get your men to the cargo ship and wait for my orders. You'll probably have a bunch of Tok'ra keeping you company soon."

"What about SG-1, sir?"

"Stand by." He looked at the Tok'ra. "What's the plan?"

"Those of us who must remain here will defend this base for as long as we are able," Ren Au replied.

"You call that a plan?"

Aldwin came running up to them. "We have begun making new tunnels."

"Why?" Daniel asked.

"Spread out the risk of getting hit by an air attack." Aldwin looked at each of the members of SG-1. "You could lend us a hand moving life support equipment and supplies to the new tunnels. We will, of course, understand if you choose instead to go immediately to the cargo ship. We would not expect any of you to remain behind."

Jack looked at his teammates. He didn't even have to ask to know what Daniel would say. The archeologist would want to help the Tok'ra as much as possible. As for Jack, well, let it not be said that he tucked tail and ran away when an ally was in trouble and needed help.

The colonel keyed his radio again. "We're going to be sticking around for a while longer, Major,"

"Yes, sir. Mansfield out."

"Dad, what about you?" Sam asked her father.

"I'm staying as long as I can. As Jack said, everyone isn't going to fit in that cargo ship. The biggest threat is that some of the Tok'ra who stay behind will be captured, and the Goa'uld might manage to get information from one or more of them."

"No Tok'ra has ever broken under torture," Ren Au declared, appearing to be rather affronted by Jacob's comment.

He looked at her. "Then how do you explain the fact that the Goa'uld found this base? You know as well as I that the only way is if they found out from a Tok'ra." He turned back to SG-1. "If worse comes to worse, I'll release the poison. It'll wipe out any Jaffa who have managed to get into the tunnels."

"But that would kill you and all the other Tok'ra," Sam said.

Jacob nodded. "That's the whole idea. I'd only do it as a last resort and not until after the cargo ship leaves." He noticed the look on the faces of Ren Au and Aldwin. "You know I'm right. We have to protect the rest of the Tok'ra. As it is, we're going to have to warn any Tok'ra who have infiltrated the Goa'uld that their covers may have been blown. We have no way of knowing how much information the Goa'uld got about us."

Ren Au reluctantly nodded. "I am afraid that you're right."

They entered the Tok'ra meeting chamber. Ren Au went over to a console.

"What are you doing?" Sam asked.

"I'm cutting power to the base. The energy signature would give away our position. Now, they'll have to resort to random bombardment."

"I suppose there's not much chance that they'll miss hitting us," Daniel said.

"Unfortunately not. It will only be a matter of time before this base is under attack."

Jack shook his head. "You know, if you guys had been more prepared for something like this, we'd be in a lot better position for all of us to get out of this alive."

Ren Au stared at him. "Colonel, the Tok'ra have never had the military resources of the Goa'uld. We use disguise and subterfuge to achieve our goals. Our bases are designed to be hidden. We are just not equipped to repulse such a large enemy force."

"And, unfortunately, we don't have enough ships at our disposal to keep several at the base just in case we have to evacuate and can't use the gate," Jacob added. "Come on. We need to get to the lab and erase the data about the poison."

Just then, they all heard the sound of bombs striking the earth. The base shook.

Mansfield's voice came over the radio. "Sir, Al'Kesh have begun bombarding the surface. We've cloaked the ship, but it's only a matter of time before it gets hit."

"How many have you got onboard?" Jack asked.

"I'm not sure, sir. It's pretty full. We won't be able to fit many more."

"All right, move the ship out of the danger zone. We'll try to make it to you once we get out of here."

"Yes, sir."

At that moment, the base was rocked violently by the bombs exploding above. Parts of the ceiling collapsed, barely missing the group. Several other Tok'ra weren't so lucky. SG-1, Jacob, Ren Au and Aldwin ran to them. Three of the Tok'ra were dead, two others badly injured.

"Do what you can for them," Ren Au instructed Aldwin. She looked up at SG-1 and Jacob. "We must get to the lab."

They hurried through the tunnels, dodging chunks of ceiling as the bombs continued to devastate the base. As soon as they arrived, Ren Au went to the console.

"I'm transferring the formula for the poison to this crystal before erasing the memory from the computer," she said. "We must try to preserve the formula, if possible."

"We must determine what is happening on the surface, O'Neill," Teal'c said.

"With the power down, we're cut off from the sensors on the surface," Jacob responded. "The only option is the secondary ring room."

"Show them," Ren Au said.

Jack, Teal'c and Jacob hurried away.

Ren Au completed the transfer and removed the crystal, slipping it inside her tunic. She then got busy wiping all the data from the computer.

Daniel studied the raised hexagonal podium that sat in the center of the console. There appeared to be a compartment inside it.

"What's in there?" he asked.

Ren Au glanced at it. She entered a command on the console, and a tank rose out of the podium. Inside, was a symbiote with wires attached to it.

"Lantash," Sam guessed.

"Yes. As you know, though we kept Martouf's body in stasis for several months in the hope that we could repair the damage, we were unable to save him. All that is left of Martouf now lives on in Lantash, and, sadly, he, too, will now die."

"You can't take him out of there and put him in some kind of portable unit?" Daniel asked.

"The symbiote's life is being sustained by the chamber. Even of we had something it could be placed within, there is a good chance that it would die long before another chamber could be set up elsewhere." She looked down at the console. "Erasure is complete." She looked at Sam and Daniel. "I'll take you to the ring room so that you can get to the ship. There is no purpose in you remaining here any longer."

Before any of them could take a step toward the exit, the room suddenly shuttered violently.

"Look out!" Daniel yelled as the ceiling caved in. The warning came too late for Ren Au, the ceiling right over her head falling down on her and the tank. Daniel and Sam dove for cover. Agony lanced through Daniel's body as he was struck a crushing blow. Then something slammed into his head, and he knew no more.

* * *

Jack, Teal'c and Jacob cautiously crept up the side of a small crater created by falling bombs. They laid down and peeked over the edge. In the valley below were several ships and thousands of Jaffa.

"They appear to be amassing a few troops," Jack remarked mildly, cursing lividly on the inside.

"Once the aerial bombardment exposes the tunnels, they will infiltrate and search them," Teal'c said.

Jack got on his radio. "Carter, come in." There was no response. "Carter, respond." When there was still no answer, the colonel and Jacob exchanged a worried look.

"Let's get back," Jack said.

As they ran back toward the trees, they all heard the familiar sound of approaching Death Gliders. They glanced over their shoulder to see two of the ships heading right for them. They increased their pace and managed to make it to the trees in the nick of time, weapons fire exploding all around them. The gliders flew off, no doubt to look for other targets.

Just then, an alarm went off on Jacob's belt.

"What's that?" Jack asked.

"It's a warning. Jaffa have breached the tunnels. We're almost out of time, Jack."

* * *

Sam's eyes slowly blinked open. She reached a hand up to her head, wincing as her fingers touched a sore spot.

"Daniel, are you okay?" she called out. The fact that there was no answer scared her. She slowly sat up and looked around, her heart going into her throat at the sight that met her eyes. Several yards away, Daniel lay unmoving amidst a pile of rubble.

Sam scrambled to her feet and rushed to his side. She knelt beside him. Seeing that he was breathing, she relaxed slightly. He was alive. She checked his pulse, finding it to be weak and slow. She carefully lifted off the rubble that was lying on top of him, searching for evidence of broken bones. She'd just finished determining that his arms and legs were okay when he stirred. Her gaze fastened on his face.

"Daniel?"

The archeologist's eyes opened. Sam was shocked when she saw them glow.

"Oh my God." She looked over her shoulder at the chamber where Lantash had been and saw that it was empty. She turned back to Daniel. "Lantash?"

"I had no choice," the Tok'ra said.

"How's Daniel?"

"I'm afraid his injuries are severe. There is serious internal damage. It's going to take all my strength just to keep him alive. He will have to speak for both of us."

As Daniel's eyes closed, Sam cupped his face with her hand.

His eyes fluttered open again. "Sam," he whispered.

She tried to give him an encouraging smile, but knew it was pretty weak. "It's going to be okay, Daniel. Lantash is trying to heal you."

"I know. It feels strange having him inside me." He met her eyes. "But then, I guess you already know that."

"Well, my experience was a little different from yours."

"Yeah. Is Ren Au okay?"

"I don't know. I'll go check."

Sam went to the Tok'ra and felt for a pulse. She was dead. Remembering the crystal with the data for the poison, Sam removed it from the woman's tunic and stuck it in one of her pockets. She then went back to Daniel.

"She's dead. I've got the crystal with the data for the poison."

"Jack, Teal'c and Jacob aren't back yet?"

"No, but they should be soon."

Daniel sighed and closed his eyes. He looked so pale. Sam was worried sick about him, afraid that the weakened Lantash wouldn't be able to heal him. But she couldn't give up hope.

"We're going to get out of this, Daniel."

His eyes opened, meeting hers. "Are we?"

"Yes. We'll get you to the ship, and, as soon as the colonel, Dad and Teal'c get back, we'll fly to the nearest planet with a gate and get you home." She ran her eyes over his body. "Do you think you can walk?"

"Um, no, not really, but I'll give it a try."

By the time Daniel was on his feet, he was drenched in sweat and shaking from the pain. As they walked down the tunnel, heading toward the ring platform, Sam had to support a great deal of his weight.

They hadn't made it very far when they saw Jacob and the rest of their team running toward them.

"Daniel!" Jack shouted in alarm upon seeing that his friend was injured.

"The ceiling fell on him," Sam said. "Ren Au is dead." She met her C.O.'s eyes. "Sir, Lantash is inside him."

"What?"

"The tank Lantash was in was broken. He had no choice but to take a host. He's keeping Daniel alive, Colonel." Her eyes told Jack how bad their friend's injuries were.

The colonel turned to the archeologist. "How you doin', Daniel?"

"Oh, I've been better. But then, I'm still alive, so I've also been worse."

"That you have. All right, let's get you to the ship and get out of here. Jaffa have gotten into the base, so we're going to have to watch out."

Jacob switched places with his daughter, taking over the burden of helping Daniel, his superior strength as a Tok'ra coming in handy.

Cautiously, they made their way toward the rings, eyes and ears alert for the enemy. They were approaching a left turn when the tunnel's weakened ceiling suddenly collapsed ahead of them. Teal'c ventured forward, looking down the tunnel.

"The tunnel is blocked," he informed the others.

Sam looked at her father. "Is there another way to the secondary ring room?"

He shook his head. "I'm afraid that was it."

"Then indeed we are trapped," Teal'c stated.

"Crystals," Daniel murmured weakly.

Sam stared at him. "What?"

"The Tok'ra use crystals to make the tunnels."

"Yes! Good idea, Danny," Jacob said. He turned to the others. "We can use crystals to make new tunnels."

"Okay, so where are they?" Jack asked.

"In the lab."

"All right, Carter, you wait here with Daniel. Teal'c and Jacob, with me."

Jacob took Daniel over to a spot where his back would be supported and gently lowered him to the floor. He then went with Jack and Teal'c back the way they came.

"See if you can find one of the Tok'ra communicators," Sam called after them. "We may need it." She turned to Daniel and knelt beside him. He looked awful, even paler than he had before.

"Would you like some water?" she asked, trying to hide her concern. She received a nod from Daniel and gave him a small sip from her canteen. "I don't want to give you too much in case it'll aggravate your internal injuries." She looked into his eyes. He'd lost his glasses in the collapse, so she could see the blue orbs clearly. They were filled with pain. "How are you doing?"

"You want the truth?"

Sam nodded.

"Not so good. I can sense Lantash trying to repair the damage, but he's pretty weak. It's strange. All of a sudden, I have all these memories that aren't mine, both Lantash's and . . . and Martouf's." Sam's eyes slid away from his for a moment. "Was it like that for you when you were Jolinar's host?"

"Not really. Jolinar blocked most of her memories from me, I guess because of the circumstances. After all, she wasn't really sure how much she could trust any of us."

Daniel closed his eyes. "I can hear him thinking sometimes." He didn't add that some of those thoughts were the doubts Lantash had that he'd be able to keep Daniel alive long enough for them to get medical attention. Daniel knew that the odds of him getting out of this alive were slim.

Sam stroked his hair. "You should rest."

Instead of taking her advice, Daniel opened his eyes and gazed into hers. "He loves you, Sam."

Sam's breath caught sharply at the statement.

"He loves _you_, not just the memory of Jolinar that's inside you. Martouf loved you, too."

Sam's eyes filled with tears.

"It's the main reason he's been fighting to live," Daniel told her. "He wanted you to know how he felt. He's so sorry about Martouf. I can feel his grief."

A tear spilled down Sam's cheek, and she dashed it away.

"Sam, he doesn't want you to feel responsible for what happened. You did what you needed to. It's what Martouf wanted you to do."

Sam closed her eyes against the pain. "I know," she whispered. It had been in Martouf's eyes, a plea for her to kill him before he could activate the self-destruct device that would have blown him and everyone nearby to pieces.

Sam felt something touch her hand. She looked down to see Daniel's hand covering hers. In his eyes was concern for her. He was lying there, desperately injured, yet he was still worrying about her.

Sam wiped away the tears that had fallen and gave his hand a squeeze. "Tell Lantash thank you."

Daniel nodded, smiling slightly. The smile abruptly turned into a grimace, and he began to cough. Sam supported him as the coughs racked his body, making the pain almost unbearable. He was utterly spent by the time they ceased. He looked down at the spot on the floor he'd been slouched over. Sam gasped when she saw that it was spattered with blood.

Fear clawing at her insides, she eased Daniel back into a semi-reclining position and wiped the blood from his mouth with her handkerchief.

"Sam," Daniel murmured, a look in his eyes that made her chest hurt.

"No! Don't you say it. You're going to be all right, Daniel. You just have to keep fighting. Don't you give up."

Daniel's eyes closed. "I haven't given up yet."

"Good. Just see that you keep it that way."

A couple of silent minutes passed. The sound of Daniel's voice broke it.

"Shouldn't Jack, Teal'c and Jacob be back by now?"

Sam glanced at her watch, seeing how much time had passed. "I'm sure they're okay, Daniel. They'll be back soon. They might have run into some Jaffa. You know how troublesome those Jaffa can be."

Sam was trying to stay positive, but it was getting progressively harder to do. Even if they did manage to get to the ship, would Daniel live long enough for them to get him back to Earth? She didn't know how far they were to the nearest planet with a gate.

Crashing and booming sounds drew Sam's gaze to the ceiling. The Al'Kesh had apparently resumed bombing.

"They're coming back," Daniel murmured.

Sam was about to assure him that they'd be okay when the chamber shook, pieces falling from the ceiling. She tensed, preparing to cover Daniel's body with her own. The sound of the bombardment faded away, and she relaxed. She gave Daniel another small sip of water, then told him to rest, mentally urging her father and her other two teammates to hurry.

In the distance, Sam could hear the sound of tunnel collapses. She had to wonder if any of the Tok'ra inside the base were still alive. Though the method the Tok'ra used for building their tunnels was ingenious, the crystalline structure was not strong enough to withstand this kind of stress. It was breaking apart. If the Al'Kesh didn't stop bombing soon, the entire cave system could collapse.

No sooner had that thought entered Sam's mind when a horrendous crash rocked the room, a big chunk of the ceiling collapsing. Sam sprang forward, draping her body over Daniel's to shield him.

As the crashing sounds ceased, she lifted her head to see that the only way out was now completely blocked by tons of rubble. Her eyes went to Daniel's, seeing there the knowledge of how bad their situation had just gotten.

"I need to try to dig us out," she said.

She went to the pile of rubble and slowly began moving pieces near the bottom of the pile.

"Start at the top," Daniel murmured.

She turned to him. "What?"

"You need to start higher, as close to the ceiling as you can. The pile isn't as thick there, and you won't have to worry about stuff from higher in the pile falling down on you."

Sam looked at the pile. Of course. She should have figured that out for herself. Digging near the bottom of the pile would waste time and be more dangerous.

"Sorry. I should have been able to figure that out for myself," she said.

"It's okay. I sort of have a little experience with this kind of situation."

Sam carefully ascended the pile of rubble to a spot near the ceiling. "Oh? Was it some kind of collapse when you were on a dig?"

"Yeah. We were in an underground chamber when the only way out caved in. Fortunately, people on the outside knew where we were, so, between them digging from the outside and us digging from the inside, it only took a couple hours to get out."

Sam didn't say that she desperately hoped it wouldn't take even that long this time.

* * *

Jack, Teal'c and Jacob hurried down the tunnel. They'd run into trouble getting the crystals. Jaffa showed up, and a battle ensued. It took a while before the three of them could get out of the lab. Then they'd run into still more Jaffa on the way back.

"Mansfield to Colonel O'Neill. Come in."

Jack and the others slowed to a fast walk.

"Report, Major," the colonel said into his radio.

"Sir, things are getting bad up here. There are Jaffa crawling all over the place. If we don't get out of here soon, they're going to find the ship. The Tok'ra have been making noises for the past fifteen minutes that we need to go. We've, uh, sort of commandeered the cockpit."

Jack exchanged a look with his companions. Even if he told Mansfield to take the ship farther out, beyond the area that the attack was being focused on, the ship would have to reenter the danger zone to fetch SG-1 and Jacob, putting at risk all the lives onboard.

Jack knew what he had to do. He got back on his radio. "Get going, Major. Get that ship out of here."

"But, sir, what about you and your team?"

"It's not worth risking your lives and the lives of all those Tok'ra just for us. Get back to Earth. That's an order."

There was a long pause. "Yes, sir."

"Head to the nearest planet with a gate. Tell Hammond to dial this gate and try to make contact with us. We'll find someplace to hide. Maybe he can come up with a way to get us out of here. Personally, I wouldn't say no to him firing a few missiles through the gate and blasting those Jaffa down there to hell."

"I'll pass on the message, Colonel. Good luck, sir."

Jack turned to the others and saw the look on Jacob's face.

"Jack—" the Tok'ra began.

"Aht! Don't say it, Jacob. If you use that poison, not only will you kill yourself and any Tok'ra left alive here, you'll kill Daniel and Teal'c, too."

"I'd wait until you guys were on the surface."

"Then stay down here and press the button? What do you think that would do to your daughter? If any Tok'ra down here have survived the attack, they've probably already been taken out of the tunnels, which means that you using that poison would be for nothing."

After a moment, Jacob nodded, knowing that Jack was right.

"Come on," Jack said. "Let's get back to Carter and Daniel."


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

"It's getting hard to breathe," Daniel said quietly.

Sam wiped the sweat from her brow and nodded. "Yeah." The air had already been getting a little low even before the cave-in. She could only assume that the life support systems were down. Now, they were trapped in this small section of tunnel and running out of oxygen even more quickly.

She kept working on the pile, it getting progressively more difficult as the air got thinner and thinner. She was starting to get dizzy and light-headed. She looked over at Daniel frequently. His eyes were closed, only the rise and fall of his chest as he struggled to bring in enough air telling her that he was still alive.

"Carter. Carter, if you hear me, respond."

The sound of Jack's voice over the radio filled Sam with relief. She reached for her radio.

"Sir, we're here. The tunnel collapsed. We're trapped."

"Yeah, we noticed that. Jacob is going to use one of these crystal thingies to make a new tunnel into there. Move away from the entrance as far as you can."

Sam scrambled off the rubble and went to Daniel, crouching beside him.

"We're ready, sir," she told her C.O.

Seconds later, she heard the sound of a tunnel being "grown", then an opening appeared.

Jacob, Jack and Teal'c hurried in.

"How's Daniel?" the colonel asked.

The archeologist's eyes fluttered open. "Still here."

"Glad to hear it. Come on. Let's get out of here."

"Did you find a Tok'ra communicator?" Sam asked.

"No, we didn't have time to look," Jack replied.

"Many Jaffa troops search the tunnels," Teal'c told her. "They will be here soon."

Sam got to her feet. "Are we going to be able to make it to the ship?"

"Um . . . no," Jack answered. "It was getting too hot up there. They were in danger of being discovered, so I told them to go."

Sam did not respond, knowing that, without that ship, the chances of any of them getting out of this had plummeted.

Jacob used another crystal, and a long tunnel formed before them.

"We should seal the tunnel behind us," Daniel said.

Jack nodded. "Good idea. Might as well make it as tough as possible for those Jaffa to find us."

With Jacob again supporting the archeologist, they headed down the tunnel. Teal'c aimed his staff weapon toward the ceiling and fired, causing it to collapse behind them.

As they walked, they checked on the situation with their supplies. Though they had enough food rations to last for a couple of days, water was another matter. They were running seriously low.

Daniel was hit with another bout of coughing, almost bringing him to his knees. Afterwards, he tried to hide the blood that was on the hand he'd covered his mouth with, but Jack saw it anyway. The eyes of the two men met for a long moment. Then Jack opened his canteen and held it out to Daniel.

The archeologist shook his head. "No. Save it for you guys."

The others all shared a look.

"Daniel, you need it more than we do," Jack responded. "We'll be fine."

"Jack, there's no sense in—"

"Daniel, so help me, if you say something stupid, like there's no sense in wasting water on somebody who's going to die anyway, as soon as we get back home and you're all healed up, I am going to sock you one. Now, take the damn water."

Brown eyes glared into blue ones for a tense moment longer, then Daniel sighed, too tired to argue. With a hand that shook so badly that Jack had to steady the canteen, he took a couple of swallows.

They continued down the tunnel.

"How many more of those crystal things do we have?" Jack asked Jacob.

"Six."

"We can't stay down here forever," Sam said. "Even if we weren't low on water, we'd eventually run out of air. I think the life support system is down."

"The Jaffa will not rest until they have found us," Teal'c declared.

Jack glanced at him. "Why do you say that?"

"If their intent was simply to kill the Tok'ra, they have weapons that could have destroyed this facility from space. Their attack using ground troops suggests they are looking for something."

"The poison," Sam guessed.

Jacob nodded. "That's my guess. That poison in the hands of one of the Goa'uld would be a deadly weapon. They could use it against the other Goa'uld."

"We can't let them have it," Daniel stated. "If we can't escape, we'll have to destroy the crystal that contains the formula."

"Come on. They've got to stop looking for us eventually," Jack said.

"Even if they do stop searching, they will never leave the Stargate unguarded," Teal'c responded.

"Is there some chance that a Tok'ra returning from a mission will show up?" Sam asked.

Jacob shook his head. "An automatic alert is most likely being broadcast now, warning the Tok'ra to stay away. Any Tok'ra coming in will assume that everyone here is dead. Even if they did take a chance and decided to look for survivors, we have no way to contact them."

They kept walking. With every step, it got harder for Daniel to put one foot in front of the other. He was in a constant state of agony, his vision beginning to grey out. Jacob was having to support progressively more of his weight. Finally, his legs gave out completely. Jacob held on tightly, Jack leaping forward to grasp Daniel.

"Let's lay him down," the colonel said.

They laid Daniel on the floor, putting Sam's vest under his head. They didn't have to express their concern for him to each other. They could see it in each other's eyes.

"We need to let him rest for a bit," Jack said. "Teal'c and I will check back along the tunnel and make sure we don't have Jaffa on our tails."

The two men headed off. Jacob turned to his daughter and watched as she wiped the perspiration from Daniel's brow, anguish on her face. She looked up at him, and he saw the sheen of tears in her eyes.

"Dad," she whispered.

He laid a hand on her arm. "Shh. He's strong, Sam. Lantash is, too."

Sam returned her eyes to Daniel. She gently stroked his cheek. She was trying so hard to cling to the hope inside her, but, now that the Tel'tak was gone, what chance was there that Daniel could survive long enough for them to get him some help?

Watching his daughter, Jacob felt the weight of guilt settle upon him. If he and the other Tok'ra hadn't asked Daniel to go on that mission, the archeologist, Sam, Jack and Teal'c would all be safe on Earth. What made it even worse was that it had been for nothing. They didn't even get to the summit. Daniel was very likely going to die, and it would be for nothing. Sam might die as well, along with Jack and Teal'c.

When Jack and Teal'c returned, they announced that they'd seen no sign of any pursuit.

"We haven't heard bombers in a while," Jack said. "Let's try the surface. Will one of those crystals get us up there?"

Jacob nodded and selected one that was diamond-shaped.

Sam had a thought. "Dad, you said that an alert to warn others away was probably being broadcast."

Jacob nodded. "The long-range sensors would detect incoming ships and transmit a signal."

"Could we reprogram one to send a distress call instead?"

"Possibly."

"Where are they?" Teal'c asked.

"There's four. Each of them is twenty-five miles from the gate, due north, south, east and west."

Jack frowned. "I figure we're three miles from the gate."

"Give or take," Sam said. "Bur, sir, this might be our only chance to get out of here."

"Twenty-two miles." Jack's eyes went to Daniel. Sam didn't have to ask what he was thinking. Was there any hope that Daniel would survive the trip?

Jacob planted the crystal in one of the walls. Another tunnel began to form, heading upward at a slight angle toward the surface.

Sam leaned over Daniel and grasped his shoulder. "Daniel?"

The archeologist opened his eyes and looked up at her.

"Hey," she said, smiling down at him. "We're getting out of these tunnels."

"That's good. I was beginning to get bored with the scenery."

It was Teal'c who supported Daniel as they made their way to the surface. He could feel the tremors in his teammate's body, see pain on the man's white face. During his many years, he had seen many grievously injured men, men who were close to death. Teal'c knew that there was very little chance that Daniel would survive for much longer, but he would not give up hope yet, even if he had to carry his friend in his arms the entire way.

The air smelled fresh and sweet as they stepped out into the sunlight. They put a little distance between them and the exit, then Jack suggested that they make a litter for Daniel. He and Teal'c went off to search for suitable branches. As soon as they got back, Sam left to go get some water.

Jack and Teal'c were working on the litter and discussing the situation they were in when she returned.

"There are gliders patrolling the area," Teal'c stated.

"I figure we got twenty, twenty-five miles to go in that direction," Jack said, gesturing up the path they were presently on.

Sam went to Daniel to give him some water. "With this terrain, I figure we can make a mile every fifteen minutes," she said. "That should hopefully put us at the sensors in under nine hours."

"We'll only have an hour or so of daylight by then," Jacob said.

Once the litter was finished, Jack and Teal'c brought it over. The colonel knelt beside the archeologist.

"Come on, Daniel. Let's get you up on this litter."

Daniel's eyes opened. His head shook slightly. "No. You have to go without me."

"No way, Daniel," Jack responded firmly. "We are not leaving you behind. You're coming with us."

"Jack." Daniel caught the man's gaze. "I'm dying."

Pain flared inside the eyes of Jack and Sam, Sam's head shaking in denial.

"Lantash has been trying to heal me," Daniel told them, "but he's losing ground. He's dying, too. He can't save me, but we can both save all of you."

"Daniel, what are you saying?" Sam asked, her voice trembling.

"Jacob gives me the container with the symbiote poison. I'll wait here for the Jaffa and tell them that I know the formula for the poison, offer to trade it for my life. They'll take me to the gate. Once I'm down there, I'll use the poison. It'll kill all the Jaffa, and you can then get to the gate."

"But it will kill Lantash, too," Sam said in an anguished voice, trying very hard not to cry. They couldn't do this. They couldn't just leave Daniel behind to die.

"I know, Sam. And when it does, I'll die with him. From what your dad told me, it'll be quick."

Sam couldn't hold onto her tears anymore. She grasped Daniel's hand, letting them fall.

"Daniel, there has to be something else we can do," Jack said, refusing to admit that there was nothing they could do to save Daniel and all get out of there.

The archeologist gazed at him. "Please, Jack. This is the only way. You know that if you were in my place, you'd do the same thing." He gasped as pain from his injuries stabbed through his body. "You have to hurry, before it's too late. Please let me do this. Please give me the chance to save you."

The eyes of the two men met for a long moment. In the colonel's eyes, Daniel saw Jack raging against the cruel truth of his words. Moments later, he saw the anguished acceptance in the brown depths.

Jack's hand came out, and, as he did on that day he had to leave a wounded Daniel behind on Apophis' ship, he cupped the archeologist's cheek. Silent words passed between them, an affirmation of the friendship that Daniel had begun to think was dying. He gave Jack the tiniest of smiles, letting the man know that he felt the same way.

Jack abruptly got up and walked away several yards, his back stiff and straight, his hands clenched into fists.

"Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said, his dark eyes even darker with sorrow. "In these years that we have fought together, you have become one of my greatest friends. I did not think that such a thing could be. My sins against you and your wife were grievous, yet you forgave me and gave me your friendship. I will remember and cherish that friendship until my dying day."

Daniel blinked back his tears. "Thank you, Teal'c. Your friendship has meant a lot to me, too, more than I ever thought it could."

He looked up at Jacob, seeing sorrow on the man's face, as well as guilt. "Don't blame yourself for this, Jacob. It's not your fault."

"Isn't it? If the Tok'ra hadn't brought you into this—"

"I could have said no," Daniel interrupted. "You didn't force me. I made the decision on my own."

Wishing that there was some other way out of this, Jacob knelt beside Daniel and placed the poison in his hand. The Tok'ra clasped the archeologist's hand for a few seconds as their eyes met. Then he got to his feet.

Daniel's gaze at last came to rest upon the last member of his team. "Sam."

"I can't do this, Daniel," she whispered, crying even harder. "I can't just leave you like this."

"You have to, Sam. It makes no sense for all of us to die. And what if they didn't kill you? What if they captured you? I can't even think about what they'd do to you guys."

Daniel looked up at Jacob and Teal'c. "I'd like to talk to Sam alone."

The two men walked away to join Jack. Daniel turned back to Sam.

"Lantash is happy now, Sam," he said in a low voice so that only she would hear. "He's glad that you know how he feels about you and that you're going to make it out of this all right." Daniel searched her face. "I'm glad that I got the chance to know you, Sam. You're one of the best friends I've ever had."

Sam was almost sobbing now. Oh, God. This hurt too much. "I feel the same way, Daniel. You have come to mean so much to me. You're my best friend."

Daniel gave her a gentle smile and lightly squeezed the hand that still held his. He could feel himself weakening, and he knew that he didn't have much time. He could also sense that Lantash was close to death.

"You have to go now, Sam. I don't think I have much time left. Neither does Lantash."

Feeling like her heart was breaking, Sam leaned forward and placed a long kiss on Daniel's forehead. Then she got up and hurried away, control of her emotions shattering.

The others turned back to Daniel, none of them wanting to leave.

"Get out of here," he told them. "Go hide. Please. Before it's too late."

With a final long look, they turned away one at a time, Jack being the last.

"You've been a good friend, Daniel," he said. Then he turned and walked away, feeling like he was leaving behind a part of himself. He joined the others, and they hurried into the woods. They knew that they needed to put as much distance as possible between them and the Jaffa. There was a low ridge nearby. If they climbed it, they'd be able to see what was going on with the Jaffa below. They'd know when Daniel had released the poison.

They'd know when he was dead.

Guilt and grief burned inside Jack. He was leaving a teammate behind. He was leaving his best friend behind. Four years ago, he'd had no choice but to leave a seriously wounded Daniel on Apophis' ship. After it was all over and they were all safe and sound, Jack swore that he'd never again leave a teammate behind. He hated himself for breaking that oath, for once again leaving Daniel to die in the midst of the enemy.

No words were spoken by the four people as they made their way to the ridge. They climbed it as quickly as possible, then turned and looked down into the valley. They could barely make out the army of Jaffa far below. Jack wished that he had his binoculars. On second thought, he didn't think he wanted a closer look at what was about to happen.

They'd been there for perhaps fifteen minutes when all movement among the Jaffa ceased. They all knew what that meant.

"It is done," said the voice of Selmak.

Grief welled up inside Sam, a choked sob breaking free. He was dead. Daniel was dead. She was never going to see him again.

Jacob spoke again, this time in his own voice. "We need to get to the Stargate before the Goa'uld leading this attack finds out that something's wrong and sends more troops down."

He looked over at his daughter, seeing the overwhelming grief there. He wanted to take her in his arms and comfort her, but it would have to wait. Later, when they were back on Earth, he would hold his daughter tight as she cried the many tears he knew would come. She would not grieve alone. He would grieve with her for the man that he had come to care about and admire.

They carefully descended the ridge, keeping an eye out for any surviving Jaffa. Once they were back on more level ground, they increased their pace. Teal'c jogged steadily, pushing from his mind everything but the goal of reaching the gate. It would not be until he was in the privacy of his quarters that he would allow himself to grieve for the loss of one of the greatest friends he'd ever known. Until then, he would focus on doing all that needed to be done to see that he, his remaining teammates and Jacob made it to safety, the lives that Daniel Jackson died to save.

It wasn't until they reached the valley floor that the enormity of what had been done hit all of them. Thousands of Jaffa lay dead for as far as they could see, apparently having dropped right in their tracks. Teal'c chose not to think too long on the deaths of so many of his people. He could only hope that some here had not been men who longed for freedom and could have been allies.

"We need to look for Daniel," Jack said, his words the first ones spoken since they left the ridge.

"Jack, there's no time," Jacob said. "It isn't going to take long for someone to find out that something's wrong."

Jack turned to him, his eyes almost black with grief. "I don't care, Jacob." His voice cracked slightly. "I am not leaving without him."

Knowing that Jack would not see reason, Jacob sighed and nodded.

They split into two teams – Jack and Sam in one, Teal'c and Jacob in the other – and began the task of searching through the dead. They all headed roughly in the direction of the base camp near the gate, knowing that's likely where Daniel would have been taken.

Sam wasn't sure if she wanted them to find Daniel. She didn't know how she was going to be able to bear seeing his lifeless body. But to leave him behind would be equally unbearable. Daniel deserved to be brought home, to be buried with full military honors, just as they gave him when they thought he'd burned to death on Oannes. He deserved so much more than that. It was so wrong, so horribly wrong that he was dead.

They had not been searching long when Jack stopped in his tracks, his eyes fixed up something a few yards away. Sam followed his gaze, her breath catching painfully in her throat. Lying so terribly still amidst a group of dead Jaffa was Daniel. He lay on his side, one of his hands stretched toward them, as if in mute and hopeless supplication.

For several seconds, Jack and Sam just stood there, unable to move. At last, Jack keyed his radio.

"Teal'c," he said in a voice roughed with emotion. "We've found him."

There was a long pause, then Teal'c said, "Do you wish my assistance?"

"No, Teal'c. I've . . . I've got him. Go on to the gate. We'll be there in a while."

For both Jack and Sam, the next six yards were among the hardest eighteen feet they'd ever walked. Jack knelt beside Daniel, suddenly feeling so very old and tired. He reached down and laid a hand upon his best friend's head. He did not have to look at Sam to know that she was crying again.

Drawing in a deep, shaky breath, Jack gathered Daniel's limp body into his arms so that he could lift the archeologist over his shoulders. Daniel's head came to rest on his shoulder, and, for a brief moment, Jack's control wavered and almost broke.

It was in that moment that something utterly unexpected happened.

Jack froze as the tiniest puff of warm air brushed across the skin of his neck. It was followed by another. Fearing to hope that what he'd felt was real, Jack stared down at Daniel. He placed his fingers over the archeologist's carotid artery, certain that he would feel nothing. He was wrong.

"My God. He's alive," he whispered. Then he shouted. "He's alive!"

Sam's head shot up. "W-what? B-but he can't be."

"Oh, yes, he can! This is _Daniel_ we're talking about." Jack grabbed his radio. "Teal'c, Daniel's alive! Repeat, Daniel is alive! Dial the gate and tell them to have a medical team standing by in the gate room, then hold the gate open for us."

Fearing that they could make Daniel's internal injuries even worse, Jack and Sam got him onto the colonel's shoulders as carefully as they could. And then they ran, moving as fast as Jack could go. It did not take long for him to begin to tire, Daniel's weight dragging him down. But he did not slow, digging deep into the reserves of his strength.

They were around thirty yards from the gate when they heard the sound of approaching ships.

"Colonel, there are three Al'Kesh and several gliders coming!" Sam cried.

"Damn. I'd say that the cat's out of the bag!"

Somehow digging up more strength from somewhere, Jack ran faster. The ships bore down on them, their weapons beginning to fire. Teal'c was now firing back, the end of his staff weapon flaring over and over again, though he had little hope of actually bringing down any of the ships. Beside him, Jacob stood with the tip of his zat gun in the wormhole to keep it open.

The ships zipped by overhead, some of their shots coming uncomfortably close. Then Jack and Sam were at the gate, and they all hurried through.

On the other side, Jack kept running, hurrying down the ramp to the gurney that was waiting for Daniel. Janet quickly examined the archeologist, it taking her only seconds to see that he was on the edge of death.

In a flurry of movement, the medical team rushed Daniel to the infirmary. Ordered to stay outside, Jacob and Daniel's teammates waited. Hammond soon joined them and asked for a preliminary report. The three members of SG-1 and Jacob briefly filled him in. When they got to the part where Daniel told them that they had to leave him behind and let him use the symbiote poison, Jack and Sam had a difficult time continuing.

"I didn't want to leave him, General," Jack said. "I wanted to believe that there was something else we could do. But Daniel . . . he knew that there wasn't anything else that could be done. He was dying. Even if he could have survived the trip to that sensor, our chances of being able to hide from the Jaffa for the time it would have taken for some Tok'ra ship to show up and rescue us would have been remote."

General Hammond sighed. "I understand how you felt, Jack. I know how hard it must have been. But you had to consider the safety of the rest of your team. You did as Doctor Jackson's told you to?"

"Yes, sir," Sam replied. "We escaped into the forest and ascended a nearby ridge where we'd be able to keep an eye on the Jaffa. We were too far away to actually see the poison take effect, but we could see when all the troop movement stopped. That's when we knew that . . . that Daniel had done it."

"How is it that Doctor Jackson is alive, then? From what I understand, when a symbiote dies, it releases a poison that kills its host."

"That is true," Jacob said. "However, a symbiote does have the ability to prevent the poison from being released if it has enough time to do so. Of course, the Goa'uld don't ever do that, but the Tok'ra do. Jolinar did it when she died inside Sam. But I honestly didn't think that Lantash would be able to. He was so weak. I can only assume that he used the last of his strength to do it. He must have believed that Daniel had some small chance of survival."

Just then, Janet came out. The look on her face made everyone's heart plummet.

"Please don't tell us he's dead," Sam begged.

The doctor sighed. "No, he's still hanging on, but I don't think it'll be for much longer. He's suffered massive organ damage, and he's lost a lot of blood from the internal hemorrhaging."

"Can't you fix it?" Jack asked, not wanting to believe that Daniel had managed to survive so much only to die after they'd gotten him home.

"He's far too weak for surgery, sir. He'd never survive." Janet's soft brown eyes were full of pain and regret. "You have no idea how much I wish that there was something I could do to save him, but his injuries are just too severe. I honestly don't know how it is that he can even still be alive." She looked at all of them. "You should go to him now."

Sam's chest tightened, knowing that they'd be going in there to say goodbye.

All at once, a thought struck her like lightning. "The healing device!" she cried. She turned to her father. "We have a Goa'uld healing device! You can use it to heal him!"

Not waiting for a response, Sam ran off, her heart beating painfully in her chest, full of the fear that Daniel would die before they could use the device.

When she came back with it, her teammates, Janet, Hammond and her father were gathered at Daniel's bedside. He looked so pale, a man minutes from death. Sam handed the device to Jacob. He slipped it on and extended it over Daniel's body. It began to glow.

The others nearly held their breath as they watched Jacob attempt to heal the archeologist's devastating injuries. The seconds crawled by, each one feeling longer than the last. It seemed like a very long time before Jacob's hand lowered.

When he spoke it was with Selmak's voice. "We have healed his injuries, though he is still quite weak from the loss of blood. This device can only heal the physical damage and stop the bleeding. It cannot give back the blood that was lost."

Janet moved closer to Daniel and examined him, her eyes going to the readings on the monitor.

"He appears to have stabilized," she said, "although his blood pressure is still very low. We'll put him in the ICU and keep a close eye on him." She looked at the archeologist's teammates. "You three need to get your post-mission checkups. You also look like you could use some rest and probably something to eat as well." Three mouths opened in preparation to say something, but she stopped them with a raised hand. "No arguing. If Daniel wakes up, I'll call you."

Daniel's teammates went and got their exams. Then they showered and changed. None of them were feeling very hungry, so they did not eat, and, for Jack and Sam, going off to rest was out of the question.

Janet wasn't at all surprised when she went to check on Daniel and found his two human teammates at his side. Teal'c would have been there as well if he hadn't been in need of Kel'no'reem.

"He's going to be all right," Janet told them. "We've almost replaced all the blood he lost. He's not a hundred percent yet, but he is well out of the danger zone."

Sam brushed her fingers through Daniel's hair. Yet again, they had believed they'd lost him, and, yet again, he'd survived against all odds.

"I performed an MRI," Janet said. "Daniel's body has already begun absorbing the symbiote."

"So, does this mean that he's going to be like Carter now?" Jack asked.

It was Sam who answered. "I should imagine so, sir. There will be Naquadah in his blood, which will enable him to use things like the healing and ribbon devices, and he'll also be able to sense the presence of a Goa'uld."

"Well, I suppose that having another person on my team that can do that will be a good thing, although I'm feeling kind of left out now. I'm the only one left that can't tell when there's a Goa'uld around."

A sound from Daniel drew the attention of the three people to him, and they watched as his eyes slowly open. He stared up at the ceiling, his brows knitting in confusion. Then he saw the people standing at his bedside.

"I'm not dead?" he said, sounding extremely surprised to have discovered that fact.

Jack smiled. "Not unless we all are, and this is some strange version of the afterlife."

"You were in extremely critical condition, Daniel," Janet told her patient. "You'd suffered massive organ damage and had lost a great deal of blood." She gazed at him regretfully. "There was nothing I could do to save you. You were too far gone for surgery."

"So I'm alive because. . . ."

"Dad used the healing device on you," Sam explained.

Janet gave him a smile. "You're still a bit weak from the loss of blood, but we're taking care of that. You're going to be just fine."

Daniel's eyes moved away from them, his gaze turning inward. "Lantash is dead," he said after a short moment.

Sam's hand came to rest on his shoulder. "We think that he managed to keep himself from releasing the toxin when he died."

"I did release the poison, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did it, Daniel," Jack replied. "We wouldn't have gotten out of there if you hadn't."

"By the time they got me down to the ships, I was so far gone that I was afraid I wouldn't have the strength to do it. I kept drifting in and out of consciousness. The Jaffas' rough handling didn't help much either."

Jack's jaw tightened with anger. He let the anger fade away. The Jaffa were dead. None of them were left to be a target for his anger.

Daniel sighed. "I wish there could have been another way. When I think about all those Jaffa—"

"Don't, Daniel," Jack interrupted. "They were there to hunt down any surviving Tok'ra. You can't feel sorry for them."

The archeologist nodded, though he still felt bad. "Where's Teal'c?"

"He needed to Kel'no'reem. Do you want me to call him?"

"No, that's okay. I'll see him later." Daniel turned to Janet. "When can I get out of here?"

"When I say so. We're almost done with the transfusion. Once that's complete, and I'm sure you're all right, then you can go."

Just then, Jacob came in. He smiled upon seeing that Daniel was awake.

"Hey, Danny. How are you feeling?"

"Good. I understand that I have you to thank for that."

The Tok'ra shook his head. "I just healed your injuries. You have Jack to thank for refusing to leave that planet without you."

Daniel's eyes went to the colonel. Jack met his gaze square on.

"We weren't going to leave you behind," the grey-haired man said simply.

Jacob came up to the bed, studying Daniel closely. "Are you doing all right?" he asked in a different way. Daniel knew what he was asking.

"Yeah. It's strange, though. Lantash was inside me for only a few hours, yet, now that he's gone, it feels like something's missing." He frowned. "That's weird. I think I can feel Selmak." He looked at Sam. "I guess this must be like what you feel."

She nodded. "You'll get used to it."

The archeologist's gaze went to Jack. "Is SG-17 back yet?"

"Nope, we beat them home. Are they gonna be surprised when they find out we're here."

"Do you know how many Tok'ra made it out?"

Jacob answered. "Not yet. However may it was, it's more than what would have survived if the attack had come after you and I left for the mission. Without that ship being available, it's likely that most if not all of the Tok'ra would have died in the base."

"But we lost our chance to kill the System Lords," Sam said.

"True," Jack responded. He looked down at Daniel. "But you know what? Right now, I really don't care all that much. What matters most at this moment is that we all made it out alive."

Sam nodded. She couldn't agree more. She gazed down at Daniel and saw that he looked tired.

"We'll let you get some rest," she said.

"Are we going to have the debriefing tonight?" he asked. "Um . . . is it night?"

"Yes, it's night, Daniel," Jack replied, "just after six, to be precise. And, yes, we're going to have the debriefing tonight, as soon as Fraiser cuts you loose."

Everyone cleared out of the room. Daniel laid his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes. Though he knew that Lantash was gone, for some strange reason, it felt like the symbiote was still within him in a way. Daniel had always believed that being blended with a Tok'ra was something he'd never want to do, yet that short time that he'd shared his body with Lantash had given him a different perspective. But then, Lantash was not like so many of the other Tok'ra. He had respected the fact that his host had a far greater right to control of the body than he did and quite often remained the observer rather than the one in control. Virtually every Tok'ra they'd ever known had almost always had the symbiote in control most of the time. Selmak was one of the only other exceptions.

If Lantash had survived, would Daniel have agreed to remain his host? Probably not, especially since it would likely have meant that he'd have had to join the Tok'ra. That was something he would not have been willing to do.

But it didn't matter now. Lantash was gone. But he had left behind a legacy, both within Daniel's body and in his memories, so, in a way, a part of him would live on for as long as Daniel did.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

The debriefing wasn't long, but it was intense. SG-1 and Jacob started out by explaining the details of the original plan to get Daniel into the Goa'uld summit.

"What will the Tok'ra's plans for the poison be now, Jacob?" Hammond asked.

"We'll be looking for another opportunity to use it, of course, but I'm not sure when that might come. This summit was a once in a lifetime chance to wipe out the System Lords. It wouldn't do any good to knock them off one by one since the others would simply take over the territories of the ones we killed."

"You know, I didn't ask this before," Daniel said, "but what about Osiris and Nirrti. Weren't you worried that they'd step in and take over? Osiris is no longer a System Lord, but that certainly wouldn't have stopped him, and Nirrti is still out there somewhere."

"We were hoping that, in the chaos caused by the deaths of the others, we'd be able to strike at the remaining Goa'uld with the poison, wipe them all out before any of them had a chance to regroup and take control."

They moved onto recounting the attack on the base. Soon, they reached the point where Lantash took Daniel as his host.

"I was unconscious when it happened, so you can imagine how surprised I was to wake up and find a Tok'ra inside me," he said. "I wasn't conscious for very long. When I woke up the second time, Sam was there. Lantash was trying to heal me, but it didn't take me long to sense how weak he was. He admitted right off that he wasn't sure if he was strong enough to heal me. By the time we got to the surface, we both knew that we weren't going to make it."

The statement sobered everyone. Sam laid her hand on Daniel's arm. He was surprised at the feeling that touch gave him. He didn't have time to think about it, though.

"So, is Daniel going to have some of Lantash's memories like Carter has of Jolinar's?" Jack asked.

"He will have some," Jacob answered. "That's inevitable."

"Um, actually, I think I might have quite a few," Daniel responded, "a whole lot more than Sam has of Jolinar's memories. He didn't block any of his memories from me. Most of them are from when Martouf was his host, but I've also got some from a few previous hosts."

Jack turned to the Tok'ra at the table. "Is that normal?"

"Yes and no. If a human is the host of a Tok'ra for a number of years, many of that Tok'ra's memories will be merged with those of the host. It will share those memories with the host. That's the way it is with me. Since Daniel was a host for only a few hours, normally, he'd have gained only a small fraction of Lantash's memories, but, as we all know, Daniel's capacity to learn and retain knowledge is far above normal. His memory must be very close to eidetic. That could affect how much of Lantash's knowledge and memories filtered into his mind. I still seriously doubt that he has anywhere near all of them, but he could have quite a bit."

Jack frowned. "How is this going to change things? What are the other Tok'ra going to think about it?"

"Some of them will not be happy that quite a bit of Lantash's knowledge and memories may now be within Daniel since they know that he'll share any knowledge he's gained with Earth. That might include technology they think you guys shouldn't have."

That made the corner of Jack's mouth curve upward. "So, we might learn how to make some cool new toys? Sweet."

"Well, I don't know about that," Daniel responded. "There's nothing popping into my head at the moment."

Jacob looked at him. "It will take a while for your mind to sort through and assimilate all the memories. You may find as time passes that progressively more of them are filtering into your awareness."

"There must be other cases when a Tok'ra symbiote died, but the host lived," Sam said. "What do the Tok'ra usually do when that happens?"

"In the rare cases when a host outlives a symbiote, the human usually eventually becomes the host to another symbiote, unless he or she is considered to be too old. Either way, the human will live the rest of his life with the Tok'ra."

Jack didn't like the sound of that. "You know, I'm thinking that the other Tok'ra don't need to know that Lantash decided to be generous and share with Daniel. It's just going to cause trouble, mostly for Daniel."

"While I agree that it could create a bit of an issue, Jack, the Tok'ra should, nevertheless, be told. Sooner or later, Daniel might slip and say something that reveals to the other Tok'ra that he possesses more of Lantash's memories than he should. If that happened and they realized that they were deliberately kept in the dark about it, it could put a strain on the Earth/Tok'ra alliance."

"Besides, it's not like they're going to force me to go live with them so that I can't tell you anything," Daniel pointed out. "They may want me to, but they can't force me."

The briefing ended a short while later. Hammond asking Daniel to stay behind. His teammates told him that they'd meet him in the commissary in fifteen minutes for a belated dinner.

"I wanted to tell you how much I admire the courage it took for you to do what you did," Hammond told Daniel once they were alone.

"It really wasn't all that courageous, sir. I knew that I wouldn't survive if Jack and the others took me with them. Since I was going to die anyway, I made the decision that I'd rather die doing what I could to save Jacob and my teammates. I was just being pragmatic, really."

"Pragmatism is not what I would call sitting there and waiting for the enemy to find you, turning yourself, for all intents and purposes, into a Trojan horse."

Daniel's gaze dropped to his lap.

"I have no doubt that you will receive another commendation in your file." He gazed at Daniel kindly. "I can only imagine how difficult this has been on you. Perhaps it might be best for you to take a little time off."

"No, sir, I'd really rather work. I'm all right."

Hammond nodded. "Very well. Go on and get something to eat with your teammates."

Daniel left the room and headed to the commissary. When he arrived, Jack and Teal'c were already there, but Sam wasn't. He got his food and joined his male teammates. Sam and her father arrived just a few seconds later and came to the table with their trays.

Over these years that Daniel had been on SG-1, Sam had sat beside him on many occasions while they ate. It had never affected him before. Not so this time. When she settled beside him, her leg briefly brushing against his, he had a strong reaction to it, the desire to touch her flooding his body. It shook him, and he deliberately put an extra few inches between them.

Why was he feeling this way? He didn't really have to think about the answer. It was pretty obvious. When Lantash was blended with him, Daniel had felt the love the Tok'ra had for Sam, felt it as if that love was within him, as if it was his heart that cared so deeply for her. Though Lantash was now dead, those emotions had been left behind in Daniel.

One of the memories from Lantash that was clearest in Daniel's mind was the private conversation he and Martouf had with Sam the day that SG-1 found the Tok'ra.

"Ours is a truly symbiotic relationship," Martouf had explained to her. "So what I feel, Lantash feels. And what Lantash feels, I feel."

"So, when one of you is in love, you both feel it."

"Yes. We love as one, and . . . and we mourn as one."

Sam had confessed to Martouf that she was experiencing the feelings that Jolinar and the previous host, Rosha, had for him and Lantash, that it was as if she was the one who lived those one hundred years as their mate.

And, now, the feelings that Martouf and Lantash had for Sam were inside Daniel, and, just like what had happened with Sam, they were confusing the hell out of him. On one hand, he knew that these emotions weren't really his, that they had been inherited from a dead Tok'ra, but, on the other hand, they sure did feel like his.

Daniel was certain that these feelings would fade in time, but, for right now, he couldn't stop thinking about Sam like that. He'd just have to try to put them out of his mind as much as possible. In time, they would go away.

He had a feeling, though, that, until they did, they weren't going to be easy to ignore.

* * *

When Jacob got hold of the surviving members of the Tok'ra High Council, he and the SGC learned that he'd been right about their reaction to the news that a sizable chunk of Lantash's memories might now be within Daniel's brain. It was Garshaw who came through the gate the next morning to talk about it.

"The Tok'ra have some concerns regarding the fact that Doctor Jackson harbors what may be a significant portion of Lantash's memories," she said to the group assembled in the briefing room, which included SG-1, Hammond and Jacob.

"Yeah, I bet you do," Jack responded. "You're worried about what little secrets he might tell us."

The Tok'ra frowned. "All of our secrets are ones that we have kept to preserve our race and to help in the fight against the Goa'uld, Colonel O'Neill."

"Yes, but we're supposed to be your allies," Sam said. "As your allies, it shouldn't bother you that Daniel might be able to reveal some things about the Tok'ra."

"Please try to see our point of view. What would happen if Doctor Jackson shares with you the knowledge he has of the Tok'ra, then one of you is taken captive by the Goa'uld and tortured? That knowledge would then be theirs. It could jeopardize not only the Tok'ra but all that we have fought for as well."

The woman's statement ticked Jack off. "Okay, just hold it right there. First of all, what makes you think that if one of us got captured, we'd spill the beans on everything we know? That's pretty insulting, if you ask me. We're not that weak."

"Nevertheless, it is a distinct danger."

Daniel spoke up. "I can see where this is going, Garshaw, so I'm going to tell you right now that if you came here to request that I come live with the Tok'ra, then you can forget it. It's not going to happen."

"You would be treated with respect, Doctor Jackson, and rest assured that we would use your knowledge and talents to help with our goals. In fact, they would be quite valuable to us. We would not ask that you become blended with another Tok'ra, though, of course, we would hope that you would eventually choose to do so."

"That's all very flattering, Garshaw, but it doesn't change my answer. I have no desire to live with the Tok'ra."

Garshaw was silent for a long moment. "Very well. There is another option, then."

"Which is?" Jack asked suspiciously.

"It would be possible to permanently block the memories Lantash gave to Doctor Jackson so that he could not access them."

Jacob frowned. "You're talking about using the memory recall device." He turned to the others. "There is a way of using the device in reverse, so to speak, so that it causes certain memories to be repressed, buried deeply in the subconscious. As far as I know, it's been used in that way only once, to remove the traumatic childhood memories a woman had of the violent murder of her entire family. She agreed to be a host on the condition that those memories be taken from her so that they no longer haunted her." He returned his gaze to Garshaw. "Even if it wasn't for the fact that it's not an exact science, and you might also accidentally affect other memories, I could not agree to something like that being done."

"Me neither," said Jack.

"Nor I," stated Hammond, "not unless Doctor Jackson agreed to it."

"Which isn't going to happen," declared the archeologist. He stared at the woman who had suggested it. "Taking those memories away would amount to destroying the last living part of Lantash. Inside of me is all that's left of who he was as a person, not to mention Martouf, and I'm not willing to see you destroy that because you're worried that something might possibly leak to the Goa'uld." His gaze sharpened. "Do you really want to kill what's left of him?"

Garshaw did not speak for a long time. "No, Doctor Jackson. We do not wish to destroy the part of Lantash that lives on in you. We only wish to preserve our race and protect what we have fought so long and hard to achieve."

"I understand that, Garshaw. I do. I guess you're just going to have to trust that I can be a . . . a worthy caretaker of the memories and knowledge Lantash gave to me."

The woman nodded once, accepting Daniel's decision. She got up from the table.

"I will take my leave now." She looked at her fellow Tok'ra. "Will you be coming with me? With the destruction of our base on Revanna and the deaths of so many of our number, there is much to be done."

"If you can wait for a bit longer, I will. I want to talk to Daniel about some things. Otherwise, I'll head back later."

"I can wait for a while longer. Perhaps General Hammond will agree to show me the entirety of this base. I have not have the opportunity to see all of it."

Hammond nodded. "Certainly. I will be pleased to show you around."

Daniel went with Jacob to the archeologist's office. When the Tok'ra shut the door, Daniel wondered what this talk would be about. They both took seats. Jacob spoke first.

"Daniel, being a host myself, I think I have some idea of some of the things you might be going through right now. When I became Selmak's host, I suddenly inherited a lot of new feelings, some for people that I never even met, like several of his previous hosts. It was pretty confusing and more than a little disconcerting in the beginning. I don't know how much of Lantash's emotions have been left behind in you, but I'm betting that at least some of them have."

Daniel was staring at the top of his desk. "Yeah."

"Do you care to talk about it?"

"Um . . . not really. Actually, no. I think that would be a really bad idea."

"Daniel."

The tone in Jacob's voice made the archeologist look at him.

"I know about the feelings Martouf and Lantash had for my daughter."

The statement made Daniel's cheeks color faintly.

"From the way you're acting, I'm betting that more than a little of those feelings are still inside you."

"I'm not going to do anything about it, Jacob," Daniel quickly assured the man. "I know these feelings aren't mine, and I would never even dream of . . . of following through on them."

Jacob smiled. "What makes you think that I'd be unhappy if you did?"

Daniel blinked once, then blinked again. "W-w-what?"

"I'm going to admit something to you, Daniel. For quite a while now, I've been of the opinion that you would be an excellent match for my daughter. You are exactly the kind of man that she needs, the kind of person who could make her happy."

Daniel simply gaped at the man, too stunned to speak.

"Sam has made some mistakes in her life when it comes to men, one of the biggest being Jonas Hanson. He was not the right kind of man for her. She needs someone like you."

"I . . . I. . . . Wow. I honestly don't know what to say to that."

"You don't have to say anything, Daniel. I just wanted you to know what my opinion is. I know that, right now, you're very confused about all of this, and I would never want you to pursue any feelings you have for my daughter if they are in no way your own, if they really are only Lantash's. That would not be fair to Sam. However, if you should ever come to believe that you might possibly share those feelings," he grinned, "I would not be unhappy if you decided to do something about it."

"I'm, um, really flattered that you feel that way, Jacob, but, even if this wasn't just Lantash's emotions, it wouldn't matter. Sam would never feel that way about me."

"Are you sure of that?"

"Of course I'm sure. Actually, I think she sees me more like a brother."

Jacob studied the younger man's face. "That bothers you."

"No . . . yes. . . ." Daniel sighed. "Sort of, I guess. I never thought a lot about it until now." He sighed a second time. "It really would be better if these . . . these feelings of Lantash's just go away and everything goes back to the way it was before."

"If that's what you really want, then I hope, for your sake, that they do." Jacob got to his feet. "I need to get going. Things are going to be pretty busy for the Tok'ra for a while, so I'm not sure how long it will be before my next visit."

Daniel stood as well, and Jacob shook his hand.

"Take care, Daniel, both for your own sake and for the sake of the memories you're now carrying inside you. I want you to know that I'm glad it's you who is the 'caretaker' of Lantash's memories. I can't think of another man who would do a better job or be more worthy."

"Thank you, Jacob," Daniel responded, deeply flattered by his words.

As the man left his office, Daniel sat back down, his mind not on Lantash's memories, but on the other thing the Tok'ra had left within him.

He was a little surprised when Teal'c came to his office later that morning.

"To my knowledge, no one has yet inquired about your feelings regarding the fact that you were unable to embark upon your mission," he said.

Daniel sighed. "Yeah. I guess my feelings are mixed. On one hand, I'm sorry that we lost the chance to get rid of the System Lords, but, on the other, I'm not at all sorry that I avoided being the assassin. Like I told you when you talked to me before, I agreed to do it because there seemed to be no better way of dealing with the Goa'uld. That doesn't mean that I wanted to do it. It bothered me a lot that I'd be killing the hosts, too. If Sarah had been there, I'm not sure I'd have been able to do it."

Teal'c came further into the room. "As a Jaffa, I am not privy to the memories that are within the larva I carry, so I do not know how it feels to gain the memories of another. I only know that, if such a thing were to happen to me, I might find it disturbing."

"I'm not sure if 'disturbing' is the right word for me. It's a little overwhelming, actually. I'm remembering things from a life many times longer than what mine could possibly be. Remembering the things he and the other Tok'ra went through – the sacrifices they made, the dangers they faced – has given me a new level of appreciation for what they've done. But . . . but it also makes me a little sad."

"How so?"

"I have so many memories from someone who is now dead, both Lantash and Martouf. They were good people. Actually, they were a really good match, a lot alike in many ways. It makes me wish that I could have gotten to know them better when they were still alive instead of learning so much about them now, when they're both gone." Daniel looked at his computer. "I've been writing some of it down, sort of a biography, I guess, of Lantash's life, at least what I can remember of it. I thought it was only right to do it."

"I believe that Lantash would be pleased that you have undertaken such a task," Teal'c told him.

Daniel looked up at him. "Thanks, Teal'c. It, um, helped a little talking about this." He just wished that he had the courage to talk to the Jaffa about the emotions Lantash had left inside him along with the memories.

"If, at any time, you wish to discuss it further, I will be honored to . . . lend a listening ear."

Daniel smiled faintly. "Thanks, Teal'c. I appreciate that."

Teal'c bowed his head slightly, then left. Daniel turned back to the computer and resumed typing. He hadn't been at it for very long when Sam showed up. Immediately, Daniel felt his heart rate increase. He fought to curb the emotions that arose, but he was only partially successful.

"Hi," she said with a smile.

"Hi."

"It's almost twelve. Would you like to join me for lunch in the commissary?"

If Sam had asked that two days ago, Daniel would have immediately said yes. He'd always enjoyed their meals together and the conversation that took place. But now. . . . Daniel knew what would happen if he ate with Sam. He'd have a hard time concentrating on anything but these feelings for her that were inside him. Breakfast this morning with his teammates had been a challenge. He'd lost count of how many times he'd glanced at Sam, noticing things about her that he never really had before, the highlights in her golden hair, the fact that the color of her eyes at that moment was like polished blue agate. Martouf had loved her eyes.

"Um . . . Sam, I'd love to, but I've got so much to do today. I still have to write my mission report. I've . . . sort of been procrastinating on it."

"Yeah, I can imagine this isn't going to be an easy one for you to write."

"No." He gestured at the monitor. "I've been recording some of my memories of Lantash's life. There are a lot of holes, but I'm remembering enough that I have quite a bit to put down."

"Wow, Daniel. That's great. I bet he'd be happy that you're doing that."

The archeologist nodded. "Oh, and I'm also putting down in a separate file some of the stuff I'm remembering about the Tok'ra in regards to their operations. I know about quite a few of the operatives they have placed within the ranks of the Goa'uld." He smiled. "No info on any fancy technological gadgets yet, though."

Sam also smiled. "Well, as soon as you remember any of that stuff, be sure to come right to my lab so that we can get it all down on paper."

"I will."

"Okay, well, I'll see you later, then."

"Yeah. Bye, Sam."

As Sam walked away, Daniel watched her leave, wishing, just as Martouf and Lantash had, that there could be more between them than just friendship.

* * *

A small sigh escaped Sam's lips as she stared at the thing sitting on her worktable. She'd been staring at it for the past fifteen minutes, her mind less on it than on something else . . . someone else, to be precise. That someone was Daniel.

It had been three days since the attack on the Tok'ra base. In those three days, she'd barely seen the archeologist. He'd turned down every one of her invitations to join her in a meal or even just a cup of coffee and some dessert, always claiming that he had a lot of work to do. He'd shared a meal with the team only twice and had been unusually quite both times.

Sam knew that Daniel was probably trying to come to grips with what happened and all the memories Lantash had left in his mind. Sam had consciously retained only fragments of Jolinar's memories, yet it had still been a bit on the disconcerting side. How much more difficult must it be for Daniel?

She wished that he'd talk to her. She'd never forget how much better she felt after sharing her feelings with Daniel about the Jolinar thing during the journey to Netu. Daniel was always such a good listener, so compassionate and understanding, making her feel like she could share just about anything with him. She wanted to return the favor, to let Daniel know that he could talk to her, and she'd understand how he was feeling, but, other than him mentioning that he was writing down his memories of Lantash's life, he hadn't said a word to her. There was a possibility that he'd talked to either Jack or Teal'c, but she still wished that he'd come to her about it.

Sam spent another ten minutes trying to work, then gave up. She took the elevator up one floor and headed to Daniel's office. He was frowning down at an artifact covered in squiggles that Sam assumed was some kind of language.

"Hey," she said.

Daniel started violently, almost dropping the artifact.

"Sam! I, um, didn't see you there."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. I came to see if you'd like to share a cup of chocolate macadamia nut coffee. I got some the other day and brought it to work. I know you like to drink the flavored coffees on occasion."

"Oh. Um . . . that sounds good, Sam, but I'm really—"

"Busy," she said, finishing his sentence before he had the chance. "Daniel, you've been telling me that for three days now, almost every time I see you. What's going on? Is it because of what happened with Lantash?"

Daniel's gaze immediately dropped to his desk.

Sam came further into the room. "Daniel, you must know that I have some idea about what you're going through. Though I didn't retain nearly as many of Jolinar's memories as you have of Lantash's, there's still enough of them in there that it made things a little tough for me in the beginning. There were times when those memories were so vivid that I had to keep reminding myself that they weren't mine. The memories of what she went through on Netu were the worst. Some of them were so . . . so horrible that they made me sick." She gazed at her friend. "I want you to know that you can talk to me, Daniel. I'm here for you."

Daniel looked up at her, so many emotions in his eyes that she couldn't sort them out.

"I know you are, Sam, but I really don't think it would be a good idea for me to talk about it with you."

Sam felt a little hurt by his statement. "Why not?"

He didn't reply for a long time, then he sighed. "Because . . . because the memories Lantash left behind aren't the problem."

Sam frowned. "What is the problem, then?"

Daniel's eyes stared straight into hers. "You, of all people, should know, Sam."

As Sam returned his gaze, all at once, she did know. Her breath drew in sharply. Oh boy.

Daniel turned away from her again, looking uncomfortable. "I've been trying to ignore it, but, so far, that hasn't worked. I have the memory of the conversation you had with Martouf and Lantash. I know how it is with the Tok'ra, how the host and symbiote share feelings. I understand why I feel these things. But that doesn't make it any less . . . powerful."

Sam cursed herself for being such an idiot. She should have realized this on her own. After her own experience with Jolinar's feelings for Martouf and Lantash, she should have known that Daniel might be going through the same thing.

Well, this definitely explained why he'd been avoiding spending any time with her. She knew how confusing and troubling this must be for him. To this day, Sam still hadn't completely resolved the feelings of love that Jolinar had left inside her for Martouf and Lantash.

So, how did she feel about this? The fact that Daniel was now experiencing those kinds of feelings for her should make her feel pretty uncomfortable, but, strangely, it didn't. Well, maybe just a little, but not nearly as much as she'd have thought it would.

"I'm sorry," Daniel said.

"Daniel, you have nothing to apologize for. You can't help what you're feeling, no more than I could when this happened to me."

The archeologist finally looked at her again. "What did you do about it?"

"I just tried to deal with it the best that I could, mostly by trying not to think about it, concentrating on other things."

"Yeah. Tried that."

"Not working?"

"Not so well." Another sigh issued from Daniel's lips. "You were luckier than me."

"How so?"

"The object of your inherited emotions was someone who lived thousands of light-years away, not somebody you see almost every day."

Sam realized how right Daniel was about that.

"Don't worry, Sam. I'll deal with it. It might take a while, but this will go away." He met her eyes again. "I don't expect anything from you."

"I know you don't, Daniel. I trust you. I know that you wouldn't do anything."

The archeologist nodded. He got up and went to one of his shelving units, pulling down a book.

Sam let out a sigh. "So, I suppose this means that you don't want to share some coffee with me."

Daniel stared down at the book. "I'm sorry. I just think it would be best for us not to spent much time together, at least not until after this . . . gets better."

Daniel's statement made Sam feel terribly sad. She didn't want to lose the times she spent with him. She treasured those moments.

With a final look at Daniel, Sam turned and left, wondering if things would ever be the same between them. 


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

"Crap," Daniel cursed. He bent down and began picking up the broken pieces of the glass that he'd just dropped because he hadn't been paying attention to what he was doing. Instead, he'd been thinking about Sam.

It had been four days since his conversation with her, a week since he became a temporary host to Lantash, and the things he was feeling for his female teammate were showing no signs of going away. In fact, they appeared to be getting even stronger. Thoughts of her entered his mind throughout the day, every day. What was worse is that, now, they were invading his sleep as well. Last night, he'd had a dream about her, a dream of the two of them making sweet, passionate love in his bed. Daniel knew that dream had not been born from any similar dreams Martouf and Lantash had about Sam. Symbiotes did not dream and had the ability to put a halt to any dreams or nightmares that their hosts experienced. Lantash had clamped down on all dreams that Martouf had about Sam, it being a mutual decision, both of them feeling that such dreams would only make them frustrated and discontent. So, last night's dream was courtesy of Daniel's subconscious alone. Lucky him.

The archeologist threw away the bigger pieces of glass, then got the broom and dustpan to sweep up the rest. Once he was finished, he went into the living room and sat rather heavily on the couch.

Daniel didn't understand why this was proving to be so . . . vexing. He had a lot of memories of Lantash and Martouf dealing with their feelings for Sam. In fact, he was now quite certain that he'd been cursed with every single one of the memories of their thoughts, wishes and desires regarding her. Though they often thought of her and had privately talked to each other about their feelings, they'd still managed to function just fine, doing their job, going on missions. Thoughts of her didn't rule Lantash's and Martouf's minds as it did Daniel's. Yes, it's true that gaining these fully developed feelings so suddenly and completely would make it harder for him to adjust, but he was beginning to fear that it was more than just that.

Daniel had been seriously considering taking Hammond's suggestion and going away for a couple of weeks. Maybe being away from Sam for a while would help banish these feelings for her. He could go to Egypt, play the tourist, perhaps check out a few of the current digs. He still had some friends in the archeological community. One of them might know of a dig where he'd be welcome.

Thinking about it, maybe two weeks wasn't enough time. A month sounded good. He knew he had the vacation time coming to him. Not counting sick leave, he hadn't taken any time off since he went to the funeral for Professor Jordan.

Jack wouldn't be happy, of course. Daniel could almost hear him complaining. But it's not like they couldn't go on missions without him, something they'd done several times in the past. They would get along fine without him for a few weeks. It's not like his archeological and linguistic skills were used all that much anymore. He could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times that those skills had been used on a mission this year.

Daniel refused to let himself start thinking about that, how he'd begun to question his role on SG-1, what purpose he had on the team. That's not what this was about.

During these four days, Daniel had continued to write down the memories he had of Lantash's life and what he now knew about the Tok'ra. He'd also been quite thrilled to realize that he had gained the full knowledge that Lantash had of all the various dialects of Goa'uld, both written and spoken. It would be a tremendous asset at work, and he'd already begun creating a lexicon of the various dialects so that others at the SGC could reference it.

On top of that, Daniel had decided that, since he now had the ability, he might as well learn how to use Goa'uld technology like the ribbon and healing devices. Sam hadn't touched a ribbon device since she inadvertently killed Seth and hadn't used the healing device the SGC had since she healed Cronus with it. Considering that Daniel owed his life to that healing device, he figured that learning how to use it might someday save someone else's life, and you never knew when knowing how to use a ribbon device would come in handy on a mission.

All these things had added even more hours to the time Daniel spent at the SGC. He'd been pretty much living there. This was the first evening that he'd actually come home, having spent every other one this week either sleeping in his quarters or on a cot in his office. Daniel knew that one of the reasons why he was working so much was his attempt to drive thoughts of Sam out of his mind. Perhaps it was time to try something else instead.

Daniel went to the phone and punched in a number that he had dialed many times before.

"Daniel, I want you to know right off that you just interrupted an incredible hockey game," Jack said the moment he picked up the phone.

"Sorry. Shall I call back in a couple of hours?"

"That all depends. Is there something important you called about or did you just want to hear my sweet baritone voice?"

"As pleasing to the auditory canals as your voice may be, Jack, no, that's not why I called. I'm, uh, going to talk to General Hammond in the morning and request some time off."

There was no sound from the receiver for a few seconds except for the noises of the game on the TV. Then that sound disappeared as well.

"Daniel, what's going on?"

"Why do you think something's going on? Is it so strange that I'm asking for some time off?"

"Considering that you often don't even take the days you're supposed to have off, yes, it is strange. In fact, I'm starting to wonder if this is really you. Maybe one of those aliens with those mimic device things has decided to come back and impersonate you."

Daniel sighed. "You found me out, Jack. I'm an alien who plans on taking over Earth by going to Egypt and holding the pyramids hostage."

There was another moment of silence. "Egypt? Exactly how long are you planning on being gone?"

"I was thinking a month."

There was a third pause. "I ask again, Daniel. What's going on?"

"I just need to get away for a while, Jack, sort some things out in my head."

"Does this have something to do with what happened to you on Revanna?"

"In . . . in a way," Daniel reluctantly admitted.

"Daniel, look. I know we haven't talked about what happened, and I'm sorry. To be honest, I just wanted to put that whole thing in the past and forget about it."

"I know, Jack. If I could do the same, I'd be really tempted to."

"I can imagine that having all those memories from Lantash inside your head must be difficult for you. I know that it wasn't easy for Carter when she first got all that stuff from Jolinar. But running away to Egypt isn't going to help anything."

"I'm not running away, Jack. I just need some time to come to grips with a few things. I haven't been able to do that at the SGC, and it's affecting my work."

Jack let out a quiet sigh. "All right, Daniel. I guess I can't begrudge you taking a few weeks off. It'll probably do you some good. When are you going to go?"

"That depends on when Hammond says I can take the time off. I also need to make a few phone calls, see if I can get in on any digs."

"Daniel, don't you dare get into your head to stay there and not come back. If you even try that, I'm going to be on a plane to haul your ass back here."

"I won't, Jack."

"All right. As soon as you know when you're going, let me know."

"I will. Thanks. Enjoy the rest of the game. I'll see you tomorrow."

Hanging up the phone, Daniel let out a slow sigh. One down, three to go. He didn't worry that Hammond would grill him about his reason for the requested leave. The man might ask, but he'd respect Daniel's privacy. Teal'c would probably guess that it had something to do with Lantash, but he also wouldn't pry. No, the problem was going to be with Sam. She would probably figure out almost immediately that the reason for this trip was the feelings he was experiencing for her. He wasn't looking forward to how she was going to react.

* * *

Daniel sat on his sofa, sipping on a cup of tea. He'd gotten permission from Hammond that morning for the time off. A major portion of the day was spent making calls to old friends in the archeological community. Most had been pretty surprised to hear from him, not having talked to him since before the first mission. He'd had some good conversations, though it was necessary for him to be pretty vague about what he'd been doing these past six plus years. One friend told him about a dig that he was pretty sure would welcome having Daniel. The man called back a while later to say that the people in charge of the dig had extended an invitation for him to come have fun digging in the dirt with them.

Once he knew where he was going, Daniel got busy making arrangements and reservations for the trip. It was late in the afternoon by the time everything was all planned and worked out. He'd be leaving from Denver next Tuesday morning and arriving in Luxor early the following evening. Someone from the dig would be picking him up.

Daniel called Hammond first, then went and told Jack, who accepted it with a nod of his head, reiterating that he expected Daniel back in one month, not a day more.

Next came Teal'c. As the archeologist had suspected, the Jaffa didn't ask any questions about why Daniel was going, but it was pretty clear he'd guessed that it had to do with the events on Revanna.

Last came Sam. Daniel spent a solid hour in his office, trying to compose the words he'd say to her. By the time he'd gotten up the nerve to go tell her, he found that she'd already left for home. On one hand, he was relieved because of the short reprieve it gave him, but it created another problem. Going to her place to tell her was out of the question. In the privacy of her home it would be so much more likely that emotions – specifically _his_ emotions – would get out of hand. Call her? After he got home, he picked up the phone several times, but couldn't quite get himself to dial her number. He'd then thought about just waiting until tomorrow to tell her, but he feared that she'd find out from Jack or Teal'c before he'd spoken with her.

Why Daniel finally decided to send her an email was something he didn't know. Oh, that wasn't true. He did it because he was a coward. An email was safe, impersonal, no danger of emotions getting out of control. He told her in the email that they could talk about it more in the morning, and he was hoping that, by then, Sam's initial reaction would have faded, and they could discuss it more calmly.

He probably should have known it wouldn't work out that way.

When the knock came on Daniel's door, there was no doubt in his mind about who it was. He was tempted to pretend he wasn't home, but he knew that wouldn't work.

Bracing himself for what he suspected was about to come, Daniel answered the door. It took about half a second for the expression on Sam's face to tell him that he was in trouble. She strode into the apartment.

"An email, Daniel? You tell me that you're going away to Egypt for a month in an _email_?"

"I'm sorry, Sam. I shouldn't have done that. I did go to your lab to tell you, but you were already gone, and I . . . I didn't want to go to your place to tell you."

"And you couldn't call me?"

Daniel's gaze fell to the floor. "I'm sorry. I . . . I just. . . ." He sighed. "I knew that you'd insist on talking to me about it."

"Of _course_ I'd want to talk to you about it. It's pretty obvious to me why you're going off on this trip. It's because you want to get away from me."

Daniel's head rose. There was pain in Sam's voice and in her eyes, and it made him feel horrible. He took a step toward her.

"It's me, Sam, not you. I-I have to get away. I need to be away from everything for a while and come to grips with these things I'm feeling. They're not going away, Sam. You have no idea how hard I've tried to get them out of my mind, but nothing is working. I keep thinking about . . . about you."

Now it was Sam's gaze that dropped to the floor.

Daniel's voice lowered to barely more than a whisper. "The thing is that I'm beginning to wonder if. . . ."

Sam lifted her eyes back to him. "If what?"

Daniel shook his head. "Nothing." He met her eyes. "I need to do this, Sam. I hope you can understand that. Maybe after a month away, I'll be able to deal with these feelings. I just know that I can't keep going on like I have been."

Sam's throat was tightening up, making it hard for her to talk. "We're going to miss you on Thanksgiving."

"Yeah. I'll miss that, too, but it was the only flight available until the following week that didn't cost an arm and a leg, and, if I left _that_ late, either I'd have to make my trip for less than a month or be gone through Christmas."

Sam liked that thought even less. "You have to be here for Christmas, Daniel. Without you it just wouldn't be any fun." She paused. "So, what about the, um, issue with your theories?"

"The friend who helped set this up says that doesn't bother the people in charge of the dig. In fact, he says that they're looking forward to having me there." Daniel smiled slightly. "It'll be nice to go on a dig again, to just be an archeologist."

Daniel's words scared Sam. What if, once he got immersed back into that world, he decided not to come back? Archeology was his first love, the thing he'd planned on dedicating his life to. Just the thought of Daniel never coming back hurt so much that she wanted to cry.

"Please, Daniel. Don't go there and decide not to come back. We need you." _'**I** need you,'_ she added silently.

The archeologist gave her a weak smile. "Don't worry. Jack's already told me that if I get any ideas to stay, he'll come to Egypt and drag me back home."

"You'll write to me, won't you? I know that you probably won't have access to an Internet connection most of the time, but you can send letters."

Daniel nodded. "I'll write."

Feeling herself close to tears, Sam walked up to him. Though she knew that she probably shouldn't, she pulled Daniel into a tight hug. He froze for a moment, then wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her hair. The desire to kiss her rose up so powerfully inside him that, by the time the hug ended, he was nearly shaking from the effort it took not to follow through on the desire.

Their eyes met for a brief moment, then Sam headed to the door. She paused before opening it.

"I'll . . . I'll see you at work before you go, won't I?" She'd seen so little of him this past week.

"Yeah. We can have lunch and . . . and maybe coffee sometime."

Giving Daniel a faint nod, Sam opened the door and left.

* * *

Jack glanced over at Daniel's features for about the dozenth time since they began their trip to the Denver airport. The archeologist had spoken barely a word so far, his mind appearing to be far away.

Jack's instincts were telling him that there was something more to the reason for this trip than just the memories Daniel had gotten from Lantash. Since all that stuff happened on Revanna, the man had spent most of his time cloistered away in his office. In fact, he'd been downright antisocial, rarely joining the team for meals and not saying much when he did. Jack hadn't thought it would be possible that he'd actually miss hearing Daniel chatter away about this or that, but he did. The truth was that he was a little worried. Something was bothering Daniel, and, whatever it was, he was choosing to keep it to himself.

This had made Jack realize that, for quite some time now, Daniel had been growing progressively more reticent. Oh, he still had plenty of stuff to impart at briefings, and when there was something he wanted to say on a mission, he was as loquacious as ever. It was all the other times that he was quieter than he used to be.

Jack knew that he should have seen this long before now. The truth was that he hadn't been much of a friend to the archeologist for a long time. So what had woken him up to this fact? Having to leave Daniel behind to die and knowing that he'd never have the chance to fix what went wrong with their friendship.

By some miracle, Daniel had managed to survive, but Jack still hadn't done much of anything to heal the rift that had formed between them. And, now, Daniel was going off to Egypt for a month. Did he really have any reason to come back? Sha're was dead, and Shifu was off floating around the galaxy with Oma. Even Apophis was no longer around for Daniel to hate and want to bring down.

The more he thought about it, the more Jack worried that Daniel would decide to quit the program and go back into archeology. The fact that he'd been welcomed with open arms to a dig indicated that his status as a pariah in the archeological community might be lifting, yet another reason for Daniel to return to his old life.

So, what could Jack say to make Daniel want to stay at the SGC?

Jack found a space in the short-term parking and helped Daniel carry his bags to the check-in counter. Once the archeologist was checked in, Jack walked with him to the security area.

"You have my flight info on the return trip?" Daniel asked as they halted before the security checkpoint.

"Yep. Don't worry, Daniel. I'll be here to pick you up on time."

The younger man nodded. "Um, if there's an emergency and you have to get hold of me, I left contact information with General Hammond. The people on the dig have a satellite phone and a short-wave radio."

"Good."

Silence fell between the two men.

"Well, I guess I'd better get going," Daniel said at last.

"Yeah." Jack met the archeologist's eyes. "Daniel, I want you to have something straight in your head. The SGC needs you . . . and so does SG-1. You may be a royal pain in the ass most of the time, but, well, I'd . . . rather have you as the team's resident pain in the ass than someone else."

Daniel was surprised by the man's words. In his own unique, less than complimentary way, Jack was saying that he didn't want to lose Daniel from the team.

"Thanks, Jack . . . I think."

Jack nodded sharply. "Just so you know that."

"I'll remember."

With a last goodbye, Jack watched Daniel head for the security checkpoint. Hoping that what he'd said was enough to give the archeologist some food for thought, he turned around and walked away.

* * *

Daniel drew in a deep breath of the desert air and slowly let it out. With a little smile on his face, he looked about. The sun was just setting, casting a golden glow over everything. It was the end of his first week on the dig, and he couldn't believe how relaxed he felt. It felt really good to be out on a dig with nothing to worry about except sunburn. It felt good to be on a dig period, surrounded by like-minded individuals seeking to uncover archeological treasures from the distant past. He'd been missing this a lot lately, but he hadn't realized how much until now. He didn't get to do this working in the program. Oh, he got to see many ruins, handle a great deal of artifacts, but he didn't get to do any actual excavating, to dig into those ruins and find the secrets they were hiding. The last time he did any excavation was on P3X-888, the Goa'uld's planet of origin, and that had been more like paleontology than archeology.

There were only two things that cast a shadow on this vacation. The first was that he'd be here only a month. He'd love to stay right on through to the last day of the dig this season. During this first week, he'd already made some friends, and, so far, there hadn't been any difficulties with anyone about his unorthodox theories. In fact, one of the graduate students was fascinated by his theories and had wanted to discuss them with him. He'd managed to steer the conversation off into another direction. By the time this month ended, Daniel knew that he wasn't going to want to leave.

It was the other thing that was on his mind a great deal more, however. He still found himself thinking a lot about Sam, wondering what she was doing, if she, Jack and Teal'c had gone on any missions. He knew it was too soon for him to be coming to terms with these feelings he now had for her. He hadn't been stupid enough to think it would happen this fast. But he also hadn't expected that he'd miss her like this. He just had to give himself more time. That's all.

But what about the future? Daniel really didn't know. Jack may have said that he was needed at the SGC and on SG-1, but Daniel knew that both would get along perfectly all right without him if he chose to leave. Even if he did leave, he would continue recording the things he'd learned about the Tok'ra, knowing that it was valuable information. He still hadn't gained the knowledge of how to construct any of the various devices that the Tok'ra used. Maybe Lantash hadn't actually known how to make any of those things.

Whatever he decided to do would partly hinge on whether or not he could learn to deal with these emotions for Sam. If he could, he might choose to stay at the SGC. If he couldn't. . . . That would be a decision he'd have to make after he got home.

* * *

She missed him. It had been three weeks since Daniel left for Egypt, and Sam missed him. She'd started missing him after just the first few days. The SGC felt empty without him.

She'd gotten a letter from him last week. He told her that he was enjoying himself. Most of the people on the dig were great, and there hadn't been any snide comments yet. Sam was glad that he was having a good time, but she was afraid that he would come to love it so much that he'd change his mind about coming back. If he really chose to quit the SGC and go back into archeology, no amount of bullying from the colonel would get him to change his mind.

And what would _she_ do if he did that? She didn't want to think about that happening. It hurt too much. In her letter back to him, she'd made a point of telling him that she missed him and was looking forward to his return home.

Last week, they'd gone on a mission, their first one since Daniel left. It wasn't the first time they'd gone on a mission without him, but, this time, it felt so wrong, as if going on that mission was an acceptance that Daniel would not be coming back. The mission had been routine, no catastrophes, no unexpected surprises. There were no ruins or native cultures to interest Daniel, but she'd still wished he was there with them.

It was going to be another nine days before he returned. She wished that he would call. She wanted so much to hear his voice. More than that, she wanted to see him. She had known that she was going to miss him, but she hadn't realized that it would be this much.

These coming days couldn't pass fast enough.

* * *

Daniel squinted his eyes against the bright sunlight as he left his tent. He walked the ten yards to the large tent that served as the mess hall at meal times and, the rest of the time, a place for them to gather and discuss things or simply to hang out.

"Doctor Daniel!" greeted Mick O'Roarke, a boisterous New Yorker of Irish descent who'd been calling Daniel that since the third day he was there. "Come over here. I saved you a seat, my boy."

Daniel smiled and shook his head in amusement. From the way Mick talked, you'd think that he was a good twenty years Daniel's elder, when, in reality, he was only nine years older. At least it could be worse. The guy could have been calling him "Danny Boy". It was bad enough when Jack called him that.

Daniel got his breakfast and took the seat beside the man.

"So, Kitty and I have been discussing the various ways that we're going to paint the town red this weekend," Mick told him.

Daniel smiled again. Several members of the dig were going to Luxor for the weekend. He had to wonder how many were going to return with a hangover. Daniel wished that he could share the joke with his friends here that, according to mythology, it was Osiris who introduced the Ancient Egyptians to beer. Oh, some of them might already know that, but he couldn't tell them about the irony that Sarah, Osiris' present host, utterly despised that beverage.

Daniel looked across the table at Katherine "Kitty" Bartholomew, a dark-haired beauty who had more than one admirer among the males here.

"Paint the town red, huh?" he said with raised eyebrows.

"Well, maybe just a bright shade of pink," she responded.

"Just don't get yourselves arrested. Most Egyptian police don't have much of a sense of humor when it comes to rowdy foreigners."

"You'll just have to sweet talk them, then," Mick said. "You're coming, too, my boy."

"Uhhhh, no, I don't think so. Spending a night in jail after you get drunk and decide to start dancing in the streets in your underwear is not my idea of a good time."

Mick rounded on Kitty. "You told him about London?"

"Of course I told him, dear Mick," she replied. "It was one of the defining moments of my life watching you dancing around Trafalgar Square in your tighty whities, then running away from the bobbies as they tried to round you up and stuff your thankfully _not_ bare ass in the paddy wagon."

Daniel hid his smile as the image came to his mind of a nearly naked Mick fleeing from a hoard of bobbies.

The New Yorker shot her a glare, then turned back to Daniel. "Pay no attention to those scurrilous tales, Daniel. I swear on the grave of my beloved mother that I will behave myself."

"Your mother is alive and in excellent health, living in New Jersey," Kitty countered with a smirk. She received another glare, but paid no attention to it.

"Really, Mick," Daniel said. "I appreciate the invitation, but I want to work on grids twenty-three and twenty-four tomorrow and Sunday."

The Irishman became completely serious. "Daniel, just about all you've done since you arrived is work. You haven't left this dig at all, except when you went with Shane to get supplies."

"I like to work, Mick. That's what I came here to do, to work on this dig."

Mick stared at him piercingly. "And to heal from the woman who broke your heart, I'm thinking."

Daniel's gaze dropped to his food, which was growing cold. "No woman broke my heart, Mick."

"I'm not so sure I believe you. I've seen the look that's been in your eyes on more than one occasion, Daniel. I've also seen how you don't even look twice at any of the women here, not even the curvaceous grads who most _definitely_ have looked more than twice at you."

The statement made Daniel flush.

"And, unless my instincts are completely wrong about you, I don't think it's the other gender you're interested in."

The archeologist sighed and put his fork down. "She didn't break my heart, Mick. It's just that her heart isn't mine, and it never will be."

"But yours belongs to her," Mick said gently.

Daniel got up from the table. "I'm going to get started on grid twenty-one." He took his tray of food to the trash, having eaten barely any of it.

Kitty frowned at Mick. "Why do you have to push him like that?"

"Because I care. He's hurting, Kitty. I know you see it, too. Yesterday, I watched as he sat for an hour and just looked out into that big desert, and the look on his face broke my heart. Whoever this woman is that he won't talk about, he loves her very much."

The dark-haired woman sighed. "I know. Whoever she is, she's crazy for not loving him back."

"We need to get him to Luxor and make sure he gets roaring drunk so that he'll forget about her for a while."

"I really don't think that Daniel would appreciate that, Mick, especially the next day when he's suffering from the hangover."

"So, what is he going to do? Shoot us? He's probably never picked up a gun in his life."

"Oh, so you didn't hear about that little incident we had while you were gone yesterday."

Mick looked at her curiously. "What incident?"

"A pack of feral dogs tried to get into the food stores. We tried to chase them away, but they were hungry enough that they weren't budging, and we were afraid someone would get bitten if we pushed them too far. Ronald got it into his head to get the pistol that Adam keeps in his tent. I suppose he was planning on shooting the dogs, but he nearly shot his own foot instead. Daniel grabbed the gun away from him before he could do any damage. He told Daniel to shoot the dogs. Instead, Daniel put four slugs into the ground right at their feet. They got the message and ran off. There's no doubt that he knew how to handle that gun very well. If he'd aimed at the dogs, I don't think he'd have missed."

Mick frowned thoughtfully. "You know, Kitty. I think that there's probably a great deal more to our Doctor Jackson than one might believe just by looking at him."

"Oh, I figured that out less than a week after he arrived. Haven't you wondered why he seems so reluctant to go into any details about his job? All he's admitted to is that he works as a linguist and cultural expert for the U.S. government. I tried to press him for more, and he clammed up tight."

Mick grinned. "Hey, maybe he was right about the aliens and the pyramids, and he works at Area 51, translating secret alien communications."

Kitty laughed. "You and your imagination, Mick. Go on and finish your breakfast. We're wasting daylight."

* * *

Three more days. Daniel would be home in three more days. Sam couldn't believe how excited that made her feel. She couldn't wait to see him. Yet, at the same time, she was also afraid. She feared what he might tell her.

She'd gotten another letter from him on Saturday. He'd talked again about the dig and the people there, how nice it was to be on an archeological site where there was no danger of "certain unfriendly individuals" – code speak for Jaffa and Goa'uld – dropping in and ruining his fun. For the first time in a very long while, Daniel was getting to work on an archeological site with no interruptions from the military, no impatient colonels wanting him to hurry up and finish, and no worries that the Goa'uld or some other alien threat would descend upon him. Sam knew how passionate he was about archeology. Would he be able to give that life up now that he'd been allowed back in? What could she do or say to make him see that his place was with them at the SGC?

And what about the feelings Lantash had left within him for her? Had this month away enabled him to banish them? After over three years, Sam had not completely gotten rid of the emotions Jolinar left inside her, so it was unlikely that Daniel has succeeded so soon. But he may have found a way to deal with them better so that they didn't bother him so much.

Now, why the heck would that make her feel sad? It would be a good thing if Daniel had come to grips with those emotions. It would give him one less reason to leave.

But what if he _did_ decide to leave? Then, somehow, she'd have to convince him to change his mind. That's all there was to it. 


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

"Knock knock."

Daniel heard the sound of Mick's voice and told him to come in. The Irishman pulled back the flap and entered the tent. He watched Daniel for a moment.

"Packing already?" he said.

"Yeah. I don't want to leave it all for the morning. We'll be leaving at ten, right?"

Mick nodded. "I figured that since we have to take you to Luxor, we might as well take the opportunity to do some other stuff there as well. You know, I'm still disappointed that you refused to spend that weekend there with us. Now, it's too late to get you plastered."

"So sorry I disappointed you, Mick. I'm afraid I wouldn't have been much fun anyway. I'm not a heavy drinker, so it doesn't take a lot to get me drunk. I suspect that the amount you'd have poured into me would have rendered me unconscious."

Mick smiled. "Well, that might have been fun, too." He lost the smile. "Daniel, are you sure that you're okay with us leaving you on your own in the city for all those hours? Your flight doesn't leave until nearly one a.m. What are you going to do to occupy yourself?"

"I'm sure I'll be able to entertain myself, Mick. It's not like I don't know my way around the city. I've got a couple of old friends that I might drop in to see."

The New Yorker nodded. He paused before speaking again. "I suppose you couldn't extend your vacation and stay longer. We'd love to have you stay another week or so. We'll be losing several people who are going home for the holidays, so you'd be an even bigger help. For that matter, we'd love to have you stay for the rest of the season."

Daniel sighed softly. A huge part of him wished that he could stay longer. But, if he did, he suspected that he'd never go back. The lure of permanently returning to his old life would be too strong.

"We've all been talking," Mick said, "Kitty, Adam and the rest of us. We'd all be willing to put in a good word for you, try to change the minds of others in the archeological community about you. It might not be easy, but I think that we could get you accepted back into the fold. There will always be jerks who won't ever change their minds, but you'd also have friends."

Daniel was so touched by what Mick was saying that he felt tears come to his eyes. Blinking them away, he turned to the man.

"Thank you, Mick. You have no idea how much that means to me. But I . . . I have to go back."

"Why? Are you under contract or something?"

"No, I could resign at any time."

"Then do it. Daniel, you can't tell me that you're eager to go back, because I know that would be a lie. The closer you've gotten to the end of your time here, the sadder you've looked. You don't want to leave. Admit it."

Daniel stared at the floor of his tent. "No, I don't want to leave."

"Then stay. Call them up and tell them you're not coming back. If you have to give them a two-week notice, then do it and come back in two weeks. We'll even all chip in to buy another plane ticket for you."

Daniel turned back to his suitcase. He thought about staying, really thought about it, returning permanently to the life he gave up over six years ago. There would be a lot of pros: no longer risking life and limb on missions, no longer having to deal with the mentality of the U.S. government . . . never again having to pick up a gun and take the life of another living being. He could truly be an archeologist again, in every way. But there would be cons, too, like not having a steady paycheck. There was no guarantee that he could find a job. He'd miss not going through the Stargate, the exploration, although, lately, there had been a whole lot less exploration and a lot more fighting. And he'd miss his friends, Jack, Teal'c . . . Sam.

Sam was both a con and a pro. On the con side, he missed her and knew that, if he left the program, he'd rarely get to see her. But then there was the pro side, which would actually be one of the biggest reasons for taking Mick up on his offer. After a month away from her, his feelings hadn't changed, not one iota.

Daniel could no longer deny that these emotions were more than just the lingering feelings of a dead Tok'ra. He was in love with Sam. Lantash's feelings may have been the foundation, the thing that started it, but it had grown into a love that was his own.

Thoughts of Sha're had come to Daniel's mind often this past week or so. After she died, he had believed that he could never come to love like that again, at least not for a very, very long time. Yet here he was, totally in love with Sam. But, unlike what he shared with his wife, this was a love that he knew would never be returned.

Could he go back to the SGC and work every day with Sam, ignoring how he felt about her? He couldn't do it before, so why should it be easier now that he recognized the truth about his feelings?

But, no matter what, Daniel knew that he couldn't just walk away from the program without talking to everyone first. This wasn't a decision to be made hastily. He was talking about the rest of his life. Besides, he'd made a promise to two people that he'd come home.

"I can't make this decision now, Mick. What I do, it's not something that I can easily walk away from. Even if that wasn't the case, I made a promise to some people that I'd come back. I have friends, close friends that I can't just say goodbye to without seeing them and talking to them."

"Is she one of those friends?"

Daniel paused before replying. "Yes."

Mick nodded. "All right, Daniel. You go home and think about it. If you decide to come back, you know how to contact us."

Daniel met the man's eyes. "Thanks, Mick."

As the man left, Daniel turned back to his suitcase and resumed packing.

* * *

Daniel wearily walked through the airport. It was afternoon here in Colorado, but his internal clock was telling him that it was evening. What with turbulence, layovers and the time changes, he'd gotten very little sleep on the trip. He was really glad that he'd have the rest of the afternoon and tonight to recover before going back to work. He was, of course, no stranger to jet lag . . . or gate lag. Traveling all over the galaxy, you had to be able to adjust to the differences in time of day from one planet to the next. But traveling through the gate took only seconds and had no layovers.

Daniel passed the security area and began looking around for Jack. He spotted the man coming toward him.

"Hey," he greeted.

"How was the flight? You look beat."

"Yeah. The trip back was rougher than the one going over, so I haven't gotten much sleep."

"Well, you can take a nap on the drive home. I won't be insulted."

"Thanks. I might do that."

Daniel conked off not long after they got out of Denver. Jack looked over at the archeologist and smiled slightly. His head was leaning sideways against the window, his mouth slightly open.

Considering how tired Daniel was, Jack knew that he really shouldn't bother the man with the probing questions he intended to ask. He should just take Daniel home and let him go to bed. But could he wait to find out if his best friend was considering leaving the program?

Daniel slept the whole way back. In fact, it was necessary for Jack to give him a little shake to wake him up once they'd reached his apartment. He blinked several times and rubbing his eyes, yawning hugely.

"Feel better?" Jack asked.

"A bit. Actually, I really need to stay awake until it's time to go to bed. If I go to bed now, it'll make it harder to adjust to the time difference since I'll probably wake up at around one or two in the morning."

"Well, in that case, how about if we get some take-out or delivery? I missed lunch, and it must be past dinnertime for you."

"Okay. Take-out would be faster."

They went to the nearest fast food restaurant and got something to go.

"You'd normally have this weekend off, wouldn't you?" Jack asked as he brought his beef burrito to his mouth.

"Yeah, but I was planning on working."

"Why not just stay home and recuperate instead? Tomorrow's Friday. Just take the rest of the week off. Then you'll be all rested up and refreshed for Monday."

Daniel thought about it for a moment. "I'll consider it."

"I'll go ahead and tell you, then, that we learned some big news."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. The Tok'ra found out that a certain Goa'uld isn't quite as dead as they and all the other Goa'uld thought he was."

"Who?"

"Anubis."

Daniel frowned. "Egyptian god of the dead before Osiris took over that dubious honor."

"Well, that's fitting, considering what the Tok'ra told us. They say he's a really nasty piece of work. His crimes were so bad that the other System Lords banished him. Yu tried to kill him, and everyone thought that he'd succeeded, but, apparently, Anubis survived. Where he's been all this time is a big question." Jack paused for a moment. "Osiris is serving him. She went to the summit to ask that the System Lords accept him back into their ranks, and they all agreed except for Yu."

That shook Daniel. If he'd gone on his mission, he'd have been faced with the decision to kill Sarah along with all the other hosts.

"We also have intel that it was Zipacna who attacked Revanna and that he's also in league with Anubis," Jack told him.

Daniel suddenly realized something. "Jack, if I'd completed my mission and killed the System Lords, that would have left the way clear for Anubis to step right in and take over everything."

The colonel nodded. "Yeah, the Tok'ra thought of that, too. So, it turns out that it was a good thing you didn't go after all."

"So, what are the Tok'ra planning to do?"

"Nothing for the present time. They're going to keep their ears to the ground for any other info on Anubis and what his plans might be."

They fell silent and ate the rest of their dinner.

"So, judging by the letters you sent Carter, I'm guessing that you had fun," Jack finally said. "Oh, nice tan, by the way."

"Thanks. Yeah, it was great, relaxing. I know what you're thinking, Jack, that spending morning till evening digging for artifacts wouldn't be relaxing, but it is for me. But it's exciting, too, when we find something. It's been so long since I got to do this, if you don't count excavating the fossilized remains of Goa'uld ancestors."

Jack stared at the man across the table, watching as Daniel fingered the wrapper that had held his quesadilla. Jack was reluctant to ask the question that was just about burning a hole in his brain, but it was something he had to know.

"You're not considering leaving the program, are you?" he finally asked. The fact that Daniel didn't answer right away worried him.

Not looking at Jack, Daniel replied, "The people who are in charge of the dig want to put in a good word for me, get the archeological community to accept me back. I, um, have to admit that it's really tempting."

"So, what? You'd just go off back to Egypt and dig in the sand for the rest of your life?"

Daniel finally looked at him. "It's more than that, Jack. If the archeological community actually accepted me back, I could get a job at one of the universities, maybe even teach. I couldn't go back to Chicago since the issue of Sarah might come up, but I have a friend at UCLA who might be able to get me a job there."

"Excuse me for saying this, Daniel, but I don't see how a job at a university and digging around in the dirt here on Earth can compare to going through the gate. I thought you liked going to other planets."

Daniel got up and went to the living room. "I used to. In some ways, I still do." He sat on the couch. "But it's just not the same anymore."

Jack joined him in the living room and settled in a chair. "Why? What's changed?" He had a thought. "Is it because of Sha're?"

Daniel sighed tiredly. "Sha're's death is a part of it, but it's a lot more than just that. Most of the time, I'm more a soldier than an archeologist. You know how many times I've used my archeological and linguistic skills on missions this year, Jack? Three times, four, if you count the half-hour I managed to get in those ruins on P7S-441 before we got caught in the middle of that stuff with the Jaffa and that alien who made us believe he was our teammate. The year before, it was five times, if you count digging up ancient Goa'uld remains, and most of those times were with other teams."

Jack frowned, not liking what he was hearing. "You've been counting?"

"Yes, Jack, I've been counting, and, to be honest, I'm beginning to wonder what my purpose on SG-1 really is."

Jack was surprised and dismayed by Daniel's confession. He'd had no idea that the archeologist felt this way.

The colonel leaned forward in his chair, eyes focused on the younger man. "Okay, so you're right that you haven't been getting a lot of chances to be an archeologist or linguist on missions lately because of the way things have been heating up out there, but I shouldn't have to tell you that you're important to the team for more than just that. There's nobody who can make nice with the natives as well as you can, which has come in handy more than once." Jack studied the archeologist's face. "But there's more to this than just that, isn't there."

Daniel stared at his hands. A part of him wanted to confess his feelings for Sam, but the other part figured it would be a really bad idea.

When Daniel didn't reply, Jack decided to push a bit harder. "Something's been up with you ever since Revanna. Is that whole thing with getting Lantash's memories still bothering you?"

Daniel got up and went to the fireplace. He leaned back against it, arms crossed, gaze affixed to the floor.

"How much do you know about the . . . issues Sam had after the thing with Jolinar?"

"I know that Netu stuff was really hard on her, remembering the things Jolinar went through there."

Daniel looked at him. "Did you know that Jolinar and her host were Lantash and Martouf's mate?"

Jack shifted a bit uncomfortably. "I did hear something about that. I choose not to think about Tok'ra and Goa'uld having sex. It grosses me out."

Daniel paused before saying the next words, hoping that Sam didn't get too mad at him for spilling the beans. "Then you probably don't know that Sam inherited the emotions Jolinar had for them."

Jack was quiet for a long moment. This was something he'd really rather not talk about.

Daniel's stared at him more closely. "Or maybe you _did_ know."

"I . . . picked up on a few things," the colonel finally admitted.

"I see. Did you also pick up on the fact that Lantash and Martouf fell in love with Sam?" The look in the colonel's eyes told Daniel that was news to him.

"No, I missed that," Jack replied.

Daniel nodded. "Sam inherited Jolinar's feelings for Lantash and Martouf because Tok'ra hosts and symbiotes share feelings. They each feel what the other does. When Jolinar died, those emotions stayed inside Sam." He paused for several seconds. "I was Lantash's host for several hours, and he died inside me. I think you're smart enough to put the pieces together, Jack."

It took a moment, but what Daniel was saying finally registered on the older man, and, when it did, it hit hard.

"Crap," he cursed.

"That about covers it," Daniel responded sarcastically.

"So you . . . inherited all of Lantash's feelings for. . . ."

"Yes."

Jack scrubbed his face with his hands. Damn. What a mess. He got to his feet and walked away a few paces. What the hell could he say now?

"This is the main reason why I went to Egypt, Jack," Daniel told him. "I needed to get away and try to deal with the things I was feeling."

"And did it help?"

"No. I wish it had."

Jack turned to face him. "But it'll go away eventually, right? I mean, Carter doesn't still feel that way about Martouf, does she?"

"I don't know how much Sam still feels for Martouf, but, judging by what she's said, I think that the feelings aren't like they used to be."

"Well then, there you go. It might be awkward for a while, but it'll get better in time."

Daniel shook his head. "It's not going to get better in time. My month away made that crystal clear. I'm in love with Sam, Jack. It's more than just Lantash's emotions now."

Jack turned away again so that Daniel wouldn't see his expression and deduce how much that declaration was affecting him.

For a long time now, Jack had been trying to ignore the way he felt about Sam. Sometimes, it was easy, other times, it was damn near impossible, although, as time had passed, he'd found it a lot easier to live with the fact that he and Sam couldn't be together unless one of them resigned or transferred out of the program. Could his feelings for her be fading?

Now, however, Jack had learned that his best friend was in love with Sam as well, someone to whom the regulations regarding relationships did not apply. Was he jealous? Yes. He couldn't help it. He was only human, after all. Daniel could have something he couldn't.

"Does Carter know this?" he asked.

"She knows that the feelings Lantash had for her were left inside me. She doesn't know that. . . ."

"_You_ love her."

"No."

"Are you going to tell her?"

"I haven't decided yet." There was a pause. "It's not like anything will ever come of it."

Jack heard the pain in the man's voice. He turned around to look at Daniel. The archeologist was doing his trademark self-hug, gaze back on the floor.

"Why do you say that?" the colonel asked.

Daniel met his eyes. "Jack, I inherited feelings for Sam. She didn't do the same for me. She feels nothing for me except friendship."

That statement should have made Jack happy, yet, strangely, it didn't. Instead, it made him feel sorry for Daniel.

Two guys in love with the same woman, neither of whom could have her, one because of regulations, the other because the woman didn't love him back. Wasn't life grand?

"I'm sorry, Daniel."

The younger man nodded infinitesimally. He pushed away from the fireplace and walked to the dining table, where he began to pick up the trash.

"I'm, uh, really tired, Jack. I think that I will take your suggestion and just stay home tomorrow. You'll tell General Hammond?"

Jack heard the strain in Daniel's voice and knew that his friend was controlling his emotions with an effort.

"Yeah, I'll tell him. Get some rest, Daniel. Would you like to come over for some beer and pizza sometime this weekend?"

Daniel didn't turn around. "I don't know. I'll think about it."

"Okay. If not, I'll see you on Monday."

The archeologist nodded. "Good night."

With one last look at his friend, Jack headed out the door, thinking that life really did suck sometimes.

* * *

When Sam found out the next day that Daniel wasn't coming to work, she was terribly disappointed. She called him and welcomed him home, telling him that she'd missed him. His voice was very soft when he said that he'd missed her, too. She wanted to say more. She wanted to ask the questions that had kept her up for hours last night, but that needed to be done in person.

"I'd love to see you tonight," she said.

There was a brief pause before Daniel replied. "Okay. Do you want to come over here?"

"Yeah. I'll stop by after work. I can pick up some food on the way, if you'd like."

"All right. Not Mexican, though. Jack and I had that last night."

"Italian?"

"Sure, that's fine. You know the things I like."

Yes, she did know. There were so many ways that she knew Daniel so well, yet other ways that she felt like she didn't know nearly enough.

"Okay. I'll see you tonight, then, probably around seven."

* * *

When the doorbell rang that evening, Daniel tensed. He'd been simultaneously looking forward to and dreading this moment all day. He still hadn't decided if he was going to confess to Sam the whole truth about his feelings. It would probably be better if she didn't know, but he had doubts about his ability to hide it from her.

Daniel put a smile on his face and opened the door.

"Hi," Sam greeted with a smile. She held up the bags she was carrying. "I come bearing pasta and breadsticks."

Daniel stepped aside for her. Once the food had been deposited on the table, they shared a hug, then spent the next few minutes dishing out the meal.

"I see you picked up a tan," Sam remarked as they began to eat. "And you let your hair grow out."

"Yeah. Getting haircuts on a dig out in the middle of the Egyptian desert is a bit challenging unless you want to trust your hair to one of the others on the dig."

Sam smiled. "Didn't want to chance it, huh?"

"No, not really."

"I like it. It looks good. It was getting so short before." Sam took another bite. "So, tell me more about your vacation."

Daniel talked about the dig and some of the things they found. He also talked more about the people he'd worked with.

"Mick sounds like a real character," Sam remarked.

"Oh, he is that. If they could get over their lack of anything in common, he and Jack would probably get along famously. Like Jack, Mick isn't afraid to say exactly what he thinks."

"Are he and Kitty in a relationship? You said they've known each other for a long time."

"No, there's twelve years between them. Not that such a thing would prevent them from having a relationship, but they're more like brother and sister. They've known each other since Kitty was going for her doctorate." Daniel smiled. "They do have quite the relationship, though." His smile broadened a bit. "If they came to work here, the Archeology Department would never be the same again."

They ate for a while in silence as Sam got up the courage to ask Daniel what she needed to know. It turned out that she didn't have to ask.

"Um . . . before I left, Mick told me that he and the others were going to try to get me back in the good graces of the archeological community so that I could come back," Daniel said. "They want me to return to the dig."

Sam's heart rate increased, her stomach clenching. _'No, Daniel. Please don't say it. Please.' _

"I'm . . . considering it."

The tightness in Sam's gut spread to her chest. "You can't leave the program, Daniel. What would we do without you?"

His eyes lifted to hers. "The program would go on without me, Sam. I'm certainly not indispensable."

"You are to us. You are to . . . to me."

Daniel wished that Sam's words meant that she loved him as he loved her, but he knew they didn't.

In that moment, Daniel decided that he needed to tell her the truth about how he felt. Not feeling hungry anymore, he got up and went into the living room. Sam followed him after a few seconds.

"Sam, you know that the main reasons I went on this dig was that I hoped the time away would help me deal with these feelings I inherited from Lantash," he said. He turned to her. "It didn't work."

Sam's heart rate sped up even more.

Daniel's eyes looked into hers. "It turns out that what Martouf said was right. The host and the symbiote do love as one, even when the symbiote is no longer in the host."

"Oh, God," Sam gasped.

"Do you understand what I'm saying, Sam? I'm in love with you. Me. It's no longer just Lantash's feelings."

Sam's respiration had doubled, her heart racing in her chest. She didn't know what to say or do. She didn't know what to think. On one hand, this was _so_ not a good thing. Daniel being in love with her made everything so complicated. But, on the other hand . . . on the other hand, Daniel was the most wonderful man she'd ever met. What woman wouldn't be incredibly lucky to have someone like him in love with her? What woman wouldn't want to love him back? A relationship between them could be fantastic.

But what about Jack? Lately, Sam had begun to have serious questions about her feelings for her C.O. If she truly was in love with Jack, how could she have had those feelings for both Martouf and Narim? How could she have found herself attracted to Orlin and then Joe Faxon? If she really loved Jack, wouldn't that love have drowned out feelings for all other men?

It would be no surprise that she would develop a "crush" for the colonel. He was a good-looking man with a lot of qualities that she admired. Yet, at the same time, there were a lot of other facets to his personality that irritated the hell out of her. Even if the regs weren't standing in the way, would it really be a good idea for them to attempt a relationship? Probably not.

But it was different with Daniel. He and Sam complemented each other, alike in many ways, but different enough that a relationship between them wouldn't become dull. They could be good together.

As the silence dragged on, Daniel turned away from Sam and went to the darkened window to stare at his own reflection.

"I'm sorry, Sam. I know this isn't a good thing, that it's not something you want. It's one of the reasons why I'm seriously considering taking Mick and the others up on their offer. It would be so much easier for both of us."

Sam hated the idea of him leaving the program because of his feelings for her. In fact, it tore her apart. She thought about how much she missed him during this month. Then she thought about the utter anguish she'd felt when she believed he was dead. He was so important to her. He felt like an integral part of her existence. Without him, her life would be so much sadder and lonelier. But could she love him as a woman loves a man? There really was only one way to find out.

Sam came up to him. "Daniel, I'd be lying if I said that this doesn't scare me, but . . . but I'd also be lying if I told you that I have no . . . interest in having that kind of relationship with you."

Stunned by her words, Daniel stared at her.

"You are a great guy, Daniel. I couldn't get any luckier than to have someone like you for a boyfriend. We're such good friends, and we get along so well that I know we'd probably have a great relationship as . . . as a couple."

Daniel swallowed to wet his dry throat. "Sam, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I don't want you to go away. I'm saying that I want you to stay and give me a chance to see if there can be something between us."

Daniel drew in a slow, deep breath, unable to believe he was hearing her right. Was she actually saying that she was willing to date him?

"Do you really mean that, Sam? Please don't say it if the only reason you want to try this is to keep me from leaving the program."

"It's not, Daniel. I swear."

Daniel stared into her eyes, seeing the truth of her words there.

That's when the brightest, most beautiful smile Sam had ever seen lit Daniel's face, making her heart flip-flop in her chest.

"I want to go out with you," he said.

She smiled slightly. "A date?"

"Yeah, a date, romantic restaurant and all."

Sam's smile widened. "I would love to go on a date with you, Daniel."

She hadn't thought that smile of his could get any brighter, but it did.

"When?" he asked.

"Tomorrow?"

"Okay. I'll see what reservations I can get."

Sam nodded. She looked at her watch. "I should go."

He went with her to the door.

"I'll call you once I get reservations," he said. "Um . . . any preferences?"

"Not really, though, since we had Italian tonight, it should probably be something else tomorrow." Sam thought of something. "Oh! We didn't even finish our dinner."

Daniel realized that his appetite had returned. "I suppose I could warm it up in the microwave."

Sam studied his face. "Is that okay? I mean, are you getting sleepy? I know how tough jet lag can be to shake."

"No, I'm fine."

Sam smiled. "Okay, then."

They warmed their dinner back up and sat at the table.

As they ate, Sam found her gaze going frequently to Daniel. Tomorrow, they would be going on an actual date. Wow. Her and Daniel dating. That sure wasn't something she'd have pictured them doing a month ago. On one hand, it seemed strange to think of the two of them becoming romantic, yet, on the other, it felt. . . . How did it feel? Sam searched for a word and found one. It felt right, like a natural progression of their friendship.

Daniel's head was so full of thoughts that it felt like it was going to explode. He was going on a date with Sam tomorrow. The thing he'd been certain he would never have might actually be within his reach. Of course, he didn't expect her feelings for him to change right away, but he had real hope now that she might one day come to love him as he loved her.

He was so afraid, though, that he'd do something to mess it up. He would have to tread carefully, take things very slowly.

After the last bite was gone, Sam helped Daniel take the dishes into the kitchen.

"Well, this time, I really should get going," she said.

Again, Daniel went with her to the door.

"Good night, Sam," he said. "I'll call you."

"Okay."

He watched her as she walked away down the hall. She gave him a wave at the elevator. He waved back and closed the door. With a happy smile on his face, Daniel headed for the bedroom, thinking that any dreams he might have of Sam tonight would definitely not make him sad when he awoke. 


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

Life was full of cases of really, really bad timing. When the call from the SGC came early the next morning, Daniel just _knew_ that he and Sam weren't going to get to go on their date. He was right. But then, when he found out the reason for the call, all thoughts of a date went right out of his head. A very big meteor was heading straight for Earth, and, if it hit, it would destroy virtually all life on the planet.

Thus began an adventure that nearly ended with Daniel and all his teammates dying a cold death out in the depths of space. In those moments that they sat in that Tel'tak, knowing that the chance of them getting rescued was slim, the thoughts that were in Daniel's mind the most were that Sam would to die, too, and that he would never get to have the life with her that he so dearly wanted.

And then they _were_ rescued, their distress call to the Tok'ra having gotten through.

Daniel was now at home, thinking about how frighteningly close their planet had come to destruction. The Goa'uld had made a strike against Earth despite its protected planet status. It would be interesting to see what the Asgard would say when they found out that the meteor was actually launched at Earth by the Goa'uld. Not that they were in much of a position to do anything about it. What with their war against the Replicators, the Asgard lacked the strength to get into an all-out war with the Goa'uld.

The doorbell rang. Answering it, Daniel discovered that it was Sam.

"Um . . . hi," she said. "Is this a bad time?"

"No, not at all. Come in."

Sam walked into the living room. She appeared to be a little keyed up.

"Are you okay?" Daniel asked.

"Yeah." She sighed. "No, not really." She turned to him. "When we were on that Tel'tak with only two hours before life support gave out, I started thinking about the things I never did in my life, and you know what my biggest regret was? That I'd never get to go on that date with you, that I'd never get to see how good it could be between us. It made me so sad, Daniel."

Daniel looked at her with understanding in his eyes. "It made me sad, too, Sam."

She walked toward him. "Let's go out now."

Daniel's brows lifted in surprise. "Right now?"

Sam nodded. "Right this minute."

"But we couldn't get into any of the nice restaurants."

"I don't care. I don't care if we have to eat at Denny's."

"But . . . but I want our first date to be special."

"It _will_ be special, because it's our first and because it's you and me. Where we go doesn't matter as much as that."

Daniel searched Sam's eyes for a long moment, then he nodded. This was not at all how he'd wanted their first date to be, but he could see how much she needed this.

He made a couple of calls and managed to get a table for two at a place that, while not what one would call an expensive, romantic restaurant, was several notches above Denny's.

Daniel learned that, underneath her long coat, Sam was wearing a dress, nothing fancy or sexy, but certainly nice enough for where they were going. He hurriedly changed into one of his good pairs of slacks, a dress shirt and a sport coat.

It was after their meal was ordered that Sam apologized. "I'm sorry, Daniel. I've disappointed your hopes for this date."

"No, it's okay, Sam. You're right that the company and the occasion are more important than the location. I just. . . ."

"What?" Sam asked encouragingly after it became apparent that Daniel wasn't going to finish his sentence.

"I wanted to do everything just right, make this date a good one for you so that . . ." his gaze dropped to the table, "so that you'd want to go on another one with me."

Sam stared at him. "Daniel, did you think that this might be our only date?"

"I thought it was possible." He looked at her. "I love you, Sam, but I know you don't love me. You agreed to date me to see if you can come to feel more that just friendship, but that doesn't mean that you ever will."

His gaze fell again, this time focusing on the glass of water before him. He didn't want to doubt that Sam could come to love him, but his deeply buried insecurities had begun taking hold. Every time he'd found happiness in his life, something came along and took it away. Could this be any different?

The archeologist was startled when Sam's hand came to rest over his.

"Daniel, look at me," she commanded gently.

Reluctantly, Daniel lifted his eyes to hers. She was surprised to actually see fear in them.

"This isn't going to be the only date, Daniel. I promise." Sam smiled. "After all, I'm expecting you to make good on your plans for a ridiculously expensive dinner with candlelight and romantic music. I'm even going to go out and buy a new dress for it," her smiled turned teasing, "one that will probably show a lot more skin than it should for just a second date."

In spite of himself, Daniel began to smile, the knot in his stomach loosening. "I'll be looking forward to that."

"Me too."

Their food arrived, and they began to eat. Their conversation started off with casual talk, similar to conversations they'd had on other occasions when they shared a meal off base. It segued into the topic of Daniel's time in Egypt, which made them both think about the fact that he'd considered leaving the program. That's when the conversation became a lot more personal.

"In that . . . that dream I had when Sha're died, I left the program," Daniel admitted, being careful to say "dream" instead of "vision" in case any of the other patrons overheard their conversation.

Surprised, Sam stared at him. "You never told me that."

"I never told anyone. A lot of things happened in that dream. I know that none of it was real, but I also know that things I did, decisions I made, were very likely things I would have done if it had really been happening. In the dream, I left because I couldn't bear being there any longer when I knew that the hope of saving Sha're was gone forever."

"What changed your mind?"

"Sha're. She told me that I had to find her son. It was her last wish."

Sam was silent for a moment, a question in her mind.

"What about after you found him?" she asked at last.

Daniel studied her face. "Are you asking why I chose to stay?"

Sam nodded.

"Several reasons, I guess. Enough time had passed since Sha're's death that I was thinking more clearly. And meeting Oma brought me a certain measure of peace, at least for a while."

Sam smiled. "I'm glad."

Daniel took a drink of his wine, choosing not to tell Sam that those feelings he got from meeting Oma had faded a long time ago.

"Enough about that," he said. "What about you? Have you ever considered resigning and going off to teach at some university?" He smiled slightly. "Or maybe just hop on your motorcycle and hit the open road?"

Sam thought about the couple of times that she toyed with the idea of resigning so that she and Jack could be together. She hadn't really been serious either time.

"Only once," she replied. She met his eyes. "After we were made to believe that you'd been killed."

Sam's answer shocked Daniel. He'd had no idea that Sam actually thought about quitting the Air Force when she and everyone else thought he was dead, thanks to the false memories Nem planted.

"I don't know if the colonel ever told you this, but he was seriously considering retirement," Sam said, surprising Daniel again. "At the wake, he lost control and smashed in a car window with a hockey stick. It was the general's car."

"Ouch." Daniel shook his head. "No one told me any of this."

"We were all hurting, Daniel. Yes, a part of it had to do with the low dopamine levels caused by . . . that whole thing, but it was more than just that. I honestly didn't know if I could stay at the SGC and keep going out on missions. If we hadn't discovered the truth and gotten you back, I'm not sure what I would have done."

Daniel didn't know what to say. He'd known that, because of the low dopamine levels and the flashbacks they kept having, his teammates had a rough time dealing with what they believed happened to him, but he'd never gotten any of the details and hadn't realized that they were affected so deeply.

Sam shook her head. "I don't want to talk about that anymore. This is a date. We should be talking about nice things."

The rest of their conversation was about "nice things", including Christmas, which was in only two days. They talked about Christmases past, both ones that they'd celebrated together with their teammates and ones that had taken place before they met.

By the time Daniel and Sam left the restaurant, they were both feeling happy and relaxed. Daniel drove them back to his place, then walked Sam to her car.

"I had a wonderful evening, Daniel," she told him. In spite of the suddenness of it and the lack of romantic ambiance, she was surprised to realize that it had been the nicest date she'd ever been on.

"I did, too," Daniel responded. He didn't want the evening to end. He wanted it to go on forever. He wanted to take Sam out dancing, and to a late movie, and still be with her when the sun began lightening the sky.

He reminded himself that he needed to go slowly, and keeping Sam out all night wasn't going slowly. What he _really_ wanted to do with her was most _definitely_ not going slowly.

"It's getting late," he said. "I should let you get home."

"Yeah."

Sam didn't make a move to leave. The truth was that she didn't want to leave. She wanted this night with Daniel to keep right on going. But she really should go. She should. Now, if she could just get her feet to move, she could do that.

At that moment, "Mother Nature" decided to step in and give them both a nudge. It began to snow.

Daniel glanced up at the sky with a sigh. "You'd better get home before a lot of snow gets on the roads."

Sam nodded, also feeling a little disappointed. She got her keys and unlocked the door. Daniel stepped aside so that she could open it, which brought him a little closer to her. When Sam turned back around to say a final goodbye, she found herself only inches from him. Their eyes met, and they both froze. Heart rates and respiration rising, they stood locked in an intense gaze.

Sam was shocked by what she was feeling. Her original idea had been that she'd give him a peck on the cheek if she felt bold enough to do so, but, now, Daniel's cheek was not where she wanted to kiss him. A little kiss on the lips would be okay, wouldn't it? Lots of couples shared a parting kiss after the first date. Yeah, just a brief little good-night kiss. That's all it would be.

With that thought in her mind, Sam slowly leaned forward. Daniel's heart began racing when he realized what she was doing. With equal parts uncertainty and eagerness, he closed the distance between them.

The meeting of their lips resulted in a flood of sensations, and a little voice deep inside Sam's brain told her that there was no way in hell this was going to be just a good-night kiss. Surrendering to the wisdom of that statement, she wound her arms around Daniel's neck as he pulled her into his embrace.

The kiss kept right on going, neither of them having any desire to break it. Daniel was fighting to maintain control, to keep the kiss soft and gentle despite the desire building inside, but it was a battle he could not hope to win.

The first touch of their tongues made them both moan, and, from that point on, all bets were off. The kiss grew searching, passion driving them to delve deeper into each other's mouths. Sam pressed herself tightly against Daniel as she was consumed by the desire raging through her. She felt like she was going to combust. She was not alone in the feeling. Daniel felt like he was on fire, every cell in his body singing with the ecstasy of kissing Sam. His hunger grew, the kiss deepening even more, becoming almost desperate.

They were totally unaware of the snow falling down upon them, wetting their hair and faces. They were aware of nothing at all except the sensations filling their bodies.

The hand that Daniel had tangled in Sam's hair slowly slid down her body. When it brushed across the side of her breast, she shuddered.

"Daniel," she gasped.

He drew back slightly, looking into eyes dilated with passion.

"God, Sam. What are we doing?"

"I don't know. But, to be honest, right now, I don't even care."

Daniel's lips sprang forward and claimed hers again. They plundered each other's mouths, their need taking control. Sam couldn't believe what she was feeling. It was insane. She shouldn't be feeling this. Two hours ago, he was her best friend, and, now, she wanted him to take her into his apartment and make love to her.

Daniel's mouth finally left Sam's again. It brushed down her cheek and jaw and settled over the pulse point in her throat, where he could feel the rapid cadence of her heart. He wanted to take her inside to his bed and show her how much he loved and desired her.

_'I should stop,'_ he told himself instead. _'I need to stop.' _

He drew back, his forehead coming to rest against Sam's, eyes closed. They stood like that for a long minute as their breathing and heartbeats slowed, the fires inside gradually banking.

At last, Daniel let go of Sam and stepped back. He searched her face, seeing that she looked a little dazed.

"I'm sorry about that," he said. "This isn't exactly how I envisioned our first date ending. I wasn't even sure about a kiss on the cheek."

Sam smiled. "Yeah, that's about the most I was originally planning. But then, you know what they say about the best laid plans."

Daniel choked on a laugh.

Sam smoothed her rumpled hair with unsteady hands. Her body was still trembling from the sensations that had flooded through it like a tsunami. Holy Hannah! How could those kisses have done that to her? If she didn't know better, she'd think that she was in love with him. But that wasn't possible. You couldn't care about someone as a friend one minute, then be in love with them the next. Even if love at first sight did exist, this wasn't first sight!

But, regardless of whether or not she was in love with him, there was one thing she couldn't deny. She wanted him. It was crazy, it was mind-blowing, but it was true. Just the thought of his hands and mouth on her body made heat race through her from head to toe, especially in one particular region. If she didn't get out of here soon, she was going to be in serious trouble.

Daniel stood silently watching Sam. He didn't know what to do now. His body knew _exactly_ what _it_ wanted to do, but he was ignoring it.

"What do we do now, Sam?" he asked.

"I . . . I honestly don't know. What just happened . . . really took me by surprise."

"Yeah." Daniel pulled in a deep breath, then let it out. "I think that you need to go now, Sam, because . . . because I really don't want you to."

Sam met his eyes and saw the desire burning like blue fire there. For several crazy seconds, she seriously thought about letting her own desire take control and going with him up to his apartment . . . to his bed. Her more rational side finally took a firmer hold. Regretfully, she got in her car. She looked back up at him.

"Tomorrow."

Daniel's brow knit. "What?"

"Tomorrow you're taking me out on our second date."

Daniel smiled. "I am?"

"Yep. Don't forget that I'm expecting candlelight and romantic music this time."

The archeologist's smile broadened. "I won't forget. In fact, I'll make the reservation the moment I get in my apartment." He realized something. "Oh, but tomorrow's Christmas Eve. Don't you usually call your family on Christmas Eve when you're not going to visit them?"

"I'll call tonight. They're on Pacific Time, so it won't be too late for them. And I'll call on Christmas Day so that I can talk to the kids."

"Okay. It's a date, then." Daniel's gaze deepened. "Good night, Sam. Thank you for a wonderful evening."

"Thank _you_, Daniel, for the same thing."

Daniel shut the car door and went to the curb. He watched as Sam drove away. He then went inside, feeling like, for at least this one moment in time, all was right with the world.

* * *

Sam got her candlelight and romantic music on the second date. She also got dancing. Daniel got a reservation at a restaurant with a dance floor, which he took Sam out on after they were finished eating.

As they danced to the slow beat of the music, they did not keep any distance between them. Daniel held Sam close, his cheek pressed against her hair. She looked so beautiful tonight. She had, indeed, gotten a dress that might normally be looked upon as a bit too revealing for a second date. But considering the incredible kisses they shared last night, such an opinion would certainly be revised. He had to wonder if there would be more kisses tonight. He had to wonder if there would be more than just kisses. He definitely wanted that, but he was afraid they were moving too fast, at least for Sam. As for him, he felt like he'd loved Sam for years. He knew that was because of the emotions Lantash left inside him, but it didn't change how he felt.

But it wasn't the same for Sam. Though, based on those kisses, she must be feeling more than just friendship for him, he was certain that she couldn't be in love with him. Some men would have no problem at all taking a woman who didn't love them to bed. The first time he and Sarah made love, he was pretty sure she didn't love him, and, though he cared about her a great deal, he hadn't been in love with her. But with Sam it was different. When he made love to her for the first time, he wanted to do so knowing that it meant just as much to her as he knew it would to him. Would that ever happen? He wanted to believe that it would.

Sam gave a little sigh of contentment. This felt so good, dancing with Daniel's body close to hers. She hadn't been able to concentrate on anything else but the upcoming date all day today. It took her three hours and three different stores to find a dress that she was satisfied with. The look she saw on Daniel's face when he first laid eyes on her made the search worthwhile. And she wasn't the only one who'd dressed to the hilt for this date. Daniel looked absolutely gorgeous. She wondered if he'd gone out and gotten a new suit.

Even after twenty-four hours, the effects of the kisses they'd shared still lingered within Sam. Every time she thought about them, a little quiver ran through her, her body warming with a flush of heat. She wanted to kiss him again. Actually, she wanted to do a whole lot more than that.

Sam was still amazed at these feelings, wondering how it could have happened so fast. When she decided to date Daniel, she had believed that, in time, she might come to want him like this, but she sure hadn't expected it to happen on the first date! And she most _definitely_ hadn't anticipated these other feelings, the ones that made this dance feel perfect, that made her want to spend every possible moment with Daniel.

As the song ended and another began, Daniel lifted his head.

"Do you want to go?" he asked. "It's almost ten."

"It is?" Sam said in surprise. She hadn't realized they'd been dancing for so long.

"Yeah."

She met his eyes. She wasn't willing to end this date yet. "One more song," she paused, "after this one."

He smiled at her. "Okay." He laid his cheek back upon her hair and drew her a little closer. He would quite happily keep dancing with her until the manager shooed them out the door.

That song ended and the next one started, the last one for them that night. Daniel lifted the hand Sam had placed upon his chest and brought it to his lips, placing two soft kisses upon the fingers. He felt a little tremor pass through her. Emboldened, he lowered his lips and pressed a kiss into her palm. Sam's respiration began speeding up.

Daniel lifted his head and caught her gaze. Only an inch separated their lips. They could each feel the warm breath of the other brush across their skin. The distance grew gradually smaller until their lips were virtually touching. They paused for several seconds, both of them knowing that they probably shouldn't do this here, but finding themselves inexorably drawn to each other. Then the last few millimeters closed.

Daniel gently delved into Sam's mouth, seeking the places he'd been too wild with hunger to explore last night. She cupped the back of his head, pressing his mouth tighter to hers so that she could embark upon her own exploration. They'd stopped dancing, but neither one of them noticed.

By the time the kiss ended, they were both a little breathless. They also knew that they really needed to get out of there.

Ignoring the looks that the other two couples on the dance floor gave them, Daniel and Sam went back to their table and got their coats. After taking care of the check, they walked to the car. Daniel drove to Sam's place and parked out front. Every part of him that was ruled by his male desires wanted her to invite him in. The part that wasn't knew that he'd refuse even if she did ask. He could have no doubt now that Sam wanted him physically. She'd told him so with that kiss. But he still wanted their first time together to be driven by more than desire on her part. He knew that Lantash and Martouf would have wanted that as well.

Sam finally spoke. "Do you want to—"

"Please don't ask, Sam," he interrupted, his voice sounding strained even to his own ears.

Surprised, she looked at him.

"You have to know that I do," he said. "You have to know how much I want to go in there and make love to you."

Sam felt a tremor pass through her body at his words. She wanted that, too. She couldn't believe how much.

"But I can't," Daniel murmured.

"Why not?"

"Because . . . because I love you. Because, more than anything else, I want you to love me, too. When we make love, I want it to be more than just because of desire, Sam."

Sam stared at him. He was telling her that he wanted to wait until she loved him like he loved her. A part of her was disappointed, but it also made her feel good to know that he wanted their first time together to be a moment of shared love, not just shared passion.

She smiled at him. "Okay. Walk me to the door?"

They got out and walked slowly up to the porch. Sam unlocked the door, then turned to Daniel.

"So, see you in the morning at the colonel's?" she asked.

"Yep. It's my turn to bring the ham."

Another smile graced Sam's face, this one bright with eagerness. "Did you get one like the last time?"

Daniel grinned. "I sure did. I remember how much you loved it."

The eyes of the couple met for several seconds. They both very much wanted to kiss, but, in that moment, they reached a silent agreement that it would probably be a bad idea.

As the archeologist drove away from Sam's, his smile returned, the hope within him that Sam would come to love him having grown even stronger.

* * *

As usual, Christmas morning at Jack's consisted of a huge breakfast, followed by the teammates exchanging gifts. Daniel had once asked Jack why they had Christmas breakfast instead of the usual Christmas dinner, and the colonel replied that everyone else had Christmas dinner, so why shouldn't they be different? Then he went on to admit that fixing breakfast took a whole lot less time and effort.

The gift Daniel gave to Sam was not particularly special, it being one that he got for her before the events on Revanna. Sam's gift to him, however, was definitely more than the average present. It was a beautiful, exquisitely tailored suede jacket that must have cost a fortune. Daniel really wondered when she'd gotten it. It made him glad that he'd gone out yesterday and gotten a second gift for Sam, one that he wanted to give to her in private.

"That's quite some jacket," Jack remarked. "Not really my style, but it'll look good on you, Daniel."

Daniel ran his hand over the butter-soft suede. He was not a clothes horse by any stretch of the imagination, but he could appreciate nice clothing. He looked at the woman who'd given it to him.

"Thank you, Sam. But you really shouldn't have. This must have cost a fortune."

"It was on sale," she declared, though the truth was that, even with the sale, it still cost a pretty penny. "I just saw it and knew that you'd look great in it."

She'd gotten the jacket when she was shopping for a dress for their second date. Passing by the men's clothing department, she'd spied it and immediately pictured it on Daniel. She already had a Christmas present for him, one she'd gotten a couple of months ago, but, as she gazed at that jacket, she'd suddenly decided that the other present wasn't good enough, that she wanted to get something special for the man she was now dating.

"So, come on," Jack said to Daniel. "Let's see it on you."

Feeling a little embarrassed, Daniel stood and slipped on the jacket, which fit him perfectly.

"Pretty snazzy, Daniel. Now, you just need to improve the rest of your wardrobe. That jacket and plaid shirts do not go together."

Sam stepped in to defend her friend. "Maybe not, but it goes really well with that cream sweater he's wearing. You look great, Daniel. I'm glad I chose the jacket."

An hour later, the morning at Jack's ended, at least for Daniel and Sam. Teal'c was staying a while longer at Jack's insistence, the colonel planning to play every movie version of A Christmas Carol for the unsuspecting Jaffa. The archeologist and astrophysicist considered themselves lucky that they were escaping that fate.

As they walked out to their cars, Daniel cleared his throat.

"Um, Sam, if you're not going to be too busy, could I drop by your place sometime today? I . . . have something to give you, another present."

Sam looked at him. "You got me another present?"

"Yeah. The one I already gave you was one I got before Revanna. I got the other one . . . more recently."

Sam felt a little thrill of excitement, wondering what the second present might be.

"Okay. I'm planning on calling Mark at 12:30 so that I can wish the kids Merry Christmas, so how about one o'clock?"

"That'll be fine. I'll see you then."

* * *

It was just slightly after one o'clock when Daniel pulled up to Sam's house. As he approached the door, his nervousness increased. He wanted Sam to like the gift he'd gotten her, but he feared that she'd think it was too much too soon. And maybe it was. It was the kind of gift that made a statement.

Sam smiled at him and let him in, apparently not noticing how nervous he was.

"So, did you talk to the kids?" he asked.

"No. They weren't there. Some neighbors down the street called them over to come get the presents the man and woman got them. Mark said he'd have the kids call as soon as they got back."

Daniel reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out what was inside. Sam's heart rate went up. It was a black velvet jewelry box. Swallowing, she took it and opened the lid. A sharp gasp leapt from her throat upon seeing what lay inside. Two entwined golden hearts hung suspended from a delicate chain. On the outer edge of each heart was a row of six tiny diamonds. In the middle, where the two hearts joined, was a love knot with a small sapphire at its center.

"Oh, Daniel. It's beautiful." Sam felt tears sting her eyes, knowing that this gift was Daniel's way of expressing how much he loved her. She lifted her gaze to him. "Thank you so much."

Seeing the tears in her eyes, Daniel knew that he hadn't made a mistake, that Sam was accepting what he was saying with that necklace. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers in a soft kiss.

At that moment, the phone rang, interrupting the kiss. Reluctantly, Sam went to the phone, cursing the bad timing of the call. She'd really wanted that kiss to continue.

"Hello," she answered. She heard the voices of her young niece and nephew, who were apparently on a speakerphone. "Hey, sweethearts. How are you? So, did you get lots of presents?"

Daniel listened to Sam's side of the conversation for several seconds, then got to his feet and went to her. He mouthed, "I'm going to go," gesturing at the door. Sam responded by giving him a signal to wait. She told the kids to hold on a moment, then put the call on hold.

"What are you plans for the rest of the day?" she asked Daniel.

"No plans, except taking care of some stuff at home. There's not much else you can do on Christmas Day."

"How about if we go do something together?"

A bright smile lit Daniel's face. "Sure. I'm up for that."

Sam returned the smile. "Okay. I shouldn't be on the phone long, if you'd like to wait."

Daniel waited. Sam's conversation with her niece and nephew lasted just fifteen minutes, the kids eager to go play with their new toys.

The afternoon with Sam proved to be one of the best Christmases Daniel had ever had. They walked hand-in-hand through the snow in a deserted park, lost in quiet conversation. They did some window shopping, checking out the various Christmas displays in store windows. At an open restaurant, they shared some hot chocolate and pumpkin pie. There was nothing exciting about the day, but, for Daniel, it was nothing short of perfect. Sam's hand was never out of his for long, and, quite often, she had an arm wrapped around his waist. But the best part of all was the look of happiness and contentment in her eyes. She was clearly enjoying being with him like this, not on a date, not dancing in a fancy restaurant, simply a quiet afternoon together. It made him feel like they were truly boyfriend and girlfriend, like the love he had for Sam was returned by her. He knew that wasn't yet the case, but just the fact that it felt that way made him happy.

By the time they returned to Sam's car for the trip back to her place, the sun had slipped below the horizon.

"That was nice," Sam said. "I can't remember the last time I went window shopping. I used to enjoy doing that, but I just never seem to have the time now."

"I know what you mean. I've begun to realize that my life has become all about work. I've always been a workaholic, but it's even worse now, I guess because I have no life outside of the program." Daniel looked at her and smiled. "_Had_ no life outside the program. I think that's changed now."

Sam wrapped her arms around his neck. "Yes, it has, for both of us."

Choosing not to resist the temptation this time, Daniel lowered his lips to Sam's. The kiss was slow and deep, tongues exploring gently. It went on for a long time, though not long enough, as far as both Daniel and Sam were concerned. But the temperature was dropping, and the sky looked as if it was getting ready to dump more snow on the ground.

They got in the car and began the drive back to Sam's. On the way, they found themselves stopping to look at all the houses with the best Christmas decorations, rating them on a scale of one to ten.

Back at Sam's place, she walked with Daniel to his car. Like their first date, she didn't want the time with him to end. She'd really enjoyed today. Just being with Daniel had made her feel good.

"Have dinner with me," she blurted out.

Surprised, Daniel turned to her. "Dinner?"

"Yeah. There are a few restaurants open."

A smile grew on Daniel's face. "Okay."

They went inside and called around to find out which restaurants would be open that evening. Making their choice, they arranged to meet at the restaurant in an hour.

At the restaurant, Daniel was delighted to see that Sam was wearing his Christmas present.

"It looks beautiful on you," he said.

She lightly touched it with her fingertips. "It's the most beautiful necklace I've ever had. I'm not the kind of girl who goes out and gets lots of jewelry. In fact, my jewelry box is pretty barren. Most of the stuff in belonged to my mother."

"I'd be wearing your Christmas present, but I didn't want to in case it snows."

"Well, I'm sure I'll have plenty of chances to see it on you."

Neither of them had referred to the dinner as a date, but it felt like one nevertheless. In Daniel's mind, it _was_ a date, his third date with the woman he was finding himself more deeply in love with each passing day. He longed to hear her say those words to him, three little words that he ached for more desperately than anything else in his life.

It had finally begun to snow when they left the restaurant. Daniel accompanied Sam to her car.

"Would you like to have breakfast together somewhere before we go to work?" he asked tentatively.

Sam smiled. "Sure. That would be great."

They decided on the time and the place to meet, then shared a gentle kiss.

"See you in the morning," Daniel said, placing a second kiss on Sam's lips.

"Uh huh. In the morning." Sam pulled him in for a third kiss, this one a bit deeper than the last two.

"Bright and early," Daniel murmured before gathering Sam into his arms and taking her mouth in a kiss that burned with the heat of their shared passion. A horn startled them, breaking the kiss. They both laughed.

"At this rate, we're going to be standing out here all night," Daniel remarked.

Sam grinned mischievously. "Yes, what is it with us and kissing in the falling snow?"

"I suppose as far as habits go, it's not a bad one."

"Unless one of us catches a cold."

Daniel gave Sam a final, light kiss. "Good night, Sam. Sleep well."

They finally parted and drove off to their separate homes, counting the hours until they'd see each other again.

* * *

The next morning, Daniel and Sam met at a café that they both liked. Each of them ordered something different, then proceeded to eat off each other's plates, chatting the whole time. They got so involved in the conversation that they lost track of time and realized almost too late that, if they didn't hurry, they were going to be late for work.

Daniel gave Sam the money for his breakfast, then went to the men's room to wash his hands, which had gotten sticky with syrup.

As she paid for the meal, Sam couldn't seem to get the smile off her face. She had always enjoyed spending off-duty time with Daniel, but, now she couldn't seem to get enough. She was already thinking about their next date, which she was hoping would be this weekend. Actually, she really wanted to get together with him before then. Perhaps they could eat lunch out again tomorrow. And who says they had to wait until the weekend for their next date?

As Daniel came up to her with a smile, Sam felt a warm glow kindle in her heart. Seeing her smile at him, Daniel slid his arm around her waist, and it felt really good to have it there. At her car, he put his other arm around her and placed a gentle kiss on her lips, another on her cheek. Sam was suddenly struck with a very powerful desire to call in sick and spend another entire day with him. Knowing that she couldn't do that, she instead guided his lips back to hers.

"You know, you're not making it any easier for us to get to work at a reasonable hour," he remarked teasingly as their lips separated.

"I don't think civilization will come to an end if we're a little late."

Daniel brought his mouth back to Sam's. "Good point," he murmured against her lips before taking her mouth in yet another kiss.

The kiss was beginning to get a bit more passionate than it really should when they finally put an end to it.

Telling herself that this was crazy and that they really needed to get going, Sam told Daniel that she'd see him at work and got in her car.

All the way to the mountain, Sam's mind stayed on Daniel. She couldn't ever recall having such a one-track mind for a guy she was dating. Heck, even when she was with Jonas, her thoughts were often more on her career and her duties than on the man she was planning to marry. But then, she never had with Jonas what she did with Daniel, this feeling of connection that was mental as well as emotional. Jonas was not someone she could spend hours and hours talking with, unlike her and Daniel, who, over these past few days, had talked about everything from the weather to interesting new scientific and archeological discoveries.

With a feeling of surprise, Sam realized that never before in her life had she felt so energized, yet, at the same time, so calm and content. And it was all because of Daniel.

Arriving at the base, Sam changed into her BDUs and went to her lab. Instead of working, however, she just sat and stared at nothing. She thought about the events of the past three and a half days, their dates, spending Christmas Day with Daniel, the way dancing in his arms made her feel, the way just being with him made her feel. And their kisses, kisses that made Sam feel things that she had _never_ felt before when kissing a man.

Sitting there in her lab, everything suddenly coalesced in Sam's mind and made her reach an inescapable conclusion.

_'My God, I'm in love with him. I'm in love with Daniel.' _

How could it have happened so fast and so completely? Barely a week ago, she'd felt only friendship.

But was that really true?

For the first time, Sam looked back on these years that she'd known Daniel with the eyes of a woman in love. She recalled what she'd felt when the two of them 'bonded' in the map room on Abydos. She had felt an attraction to him, but had quickly put it out of her mind because he was married. During those first couple of years, she had eagerly looked forward to every time they got together on some experiment, telling herself that the thrill she felt during those meetings of minds was simply the enjoyment of shared scientific investigation and discovery. When Daniel lay dying in the infirmary after switching bodies with Machello, she had begged him not to leave her, knowing that, if he did, it would devastate her. When he appeared to be developing a romantic interest in Ke'ra, the woman who later turned out to be Linea, the Destroyer of Worlds, she hadn't been happy about it, just the opposite, in fact.

Could it be that some part of her had felt this way about him for a long time, and she just hadn't seen it? Had her infatuation with Jack later blinded her to it completely? The more she thought about it, the more she realized that, deep down inside, so deep that even she couldn't see it, her feelings for Daniel had been more than just friendship since the day they met.

Sam had the urge to run right over to Daniel's office and tell him what she'd just figured out, but she chose not to. Instead, she was going to wait until tonight. She'd go over to Daniel's apartment, put her arms around him, and whisper it in his ear. And then they would make love, incredible, passionate love.

That plan firmly in her mind, Sam finally turned to her computer and got to work. 


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

Daniel was a little disappointed that he didn't see Sam at lunchtime. He'd considered going to her lab to see if she wanted to join him, but by the time he'd actually gone to lunch, it was nearly two o'clock, and he figured that she had probably already eaten.

Though Sam wasn't there, Jack was, enjoying a piece of cherry pie, so Daniel joined him.

As he ate, the archeologist's thoughts kept going to Sam and what they'd shared these past few days.

"So, what's up?" Jack suddenly asked.

Startled out of his pleasant reverie, Daniel looked at him. "What do you mean what's up?"

"Just wondering why you keep smiling and look so happy. Did you win the lottery or something? It's up to sixty-five million, isn't it?"

"Sorry, Jack. I haven't suddenly become a millionaire."

"Too bad. So, if it's not the lottery, what's the reason for the good mood."

Daniel didn't answer for several seconds. He knew that, sooner or later, Jack was going to have to be told. This, however, was not the place to tell him.

"Come to my office later," he said.

Jack paused, then said, "Okay."

"Later" turned out to be five minutes after Daniel got back to his office.

"Okay, I'm all ears," Jack stated.

Daniel hesitated, wondering what would be the best way to make the announcement. He decided that just coming right out and saying it would be best.

"Sam and I have started dating."

Jack's mouth fell open. "You . . . you're dating?"

"Uh huh, three dates so far, and we spent all Christmas Day together. I know what you're thinking, Jack, and I'm as surprised as you are. I really didn't think that Sam would ever be interested in me like that, but it turns out that I was wrong." Daniel smiled. "These dates have been fantastic, the best."

Jealousy speared right through Jack's heart. He quickly turned away, hoping to hide it, but he was too late.

Stunned, Daniel stared at the older man. There was no mistaking what he'd just seen. That had been jealousy in Jack's eyes, jealousy and pain. The realization of what that meant hit Daniel like a sledgehammer.

"My God. You love her, too," he whispered.

Jack started toying with a statue on one of the bookcases, saying nothing.

"How . . . how long?"

Jack let out a soft sigh. There really was no sense in denying this.

"I'm not really sure," he replied. "A while, I think. I didn't realize it until that whole thing with those armbands. When Carter got trapped behind that force field, and I couldn't get her out, I . . . I couldn't leave her. I knew that I'd rather die than leave without her."

Daniel's mind was reeling with shock. He'd had no idea that Jack felt that way about Sam. Did she know?

"Does Sam know?"

There was a long pause before Jack replied. "Yes, she knows."

Daniel was trying to come to grips with this. Sam had known all this time that Jack loved her. She had gone out with Daniel knowing the possible impact it might have on his friendship with Jack. She should have told him. She. . . .

All at once, Daniel remembered something. It was a couple of days after the attempt to kill the president and High Councillor Per'sus. Sam was still hurting deeply over having to kill Martouf. He'd gone to her lab and found her crying. Jack was with her. Neither of them noticed Daniel. Jack had laid a comforting hand on Sam's shoulder, and their eyes met. For a brief moment, Daniel had seen something pass between them. When they became aware of his presence, they sprang apart. At the time, Daniel hadn't thought much about it, but now. . . .

A horrible, sick feeling made Daniel's stomach tighten. "She loves you, too," he whispered hoarsely.

"Obviously not anymore," Jack responded, "not if she's dating you."

When Daniel didn't say anything, Jack finally turned to look at the archeologist. What he saw shook him. The expression in Daniel's eyes was something you'd see in the eyes of a man who had just lost all hope in life. Jack immediately figured out what Daniel was thinking and cursed himself for his big mouth. What was he thinking saying that?

"Daniel, look. Okay, so Carter and I did . . . feel things for each other, but we knew we couldn't do anything about it, not as long as we were both in the same chain of command. We never even talked about it. A lot of things have changed since then. I know that my feelings have changed, and, obviously, Carter's have, too. Even if we _could_ be together, I doubt that we'd go for it. It would probably be a disaster."

Daniel heard only a portion of what Jack was saying. Sam was in love with Jack. Sam had dated him only because she and Jack couldn't be together. She would never love him.

Daniel felt himself spiraling down into a bottomless pit. Unable to remain in that room for a moment longer, he sprang to his feet and rushed out, blowing right past Jack. He aimed for the elevator, needing to escape. The blood pounding in his head blotted out the sound of Jack calling his name.

He was at the elevator when Jack grabbed his arm. The colonel spun him around, dismayed to see tears on Daniel's face.

"Leave me alone, Jack," Daniel said, jerking his arm out of Jack's grasp. "Just leave me alone."

"Daniel, listen to me." Jack looked about to see if anyone was around. He saw one of the civilian scientists come around the corner. Forcing his face into a pleasant expression, he nodded as the man walked toward them. The guy greeted him, then went into one of the offices, shutting the door behind him.

Jack turned back to Daniel only to discover that the archeologist had managed to slip away, probably down the stairs.

"Dammit," Jack cursed under his breath. He punched the button for the elevator. He suspected that Daniel was intending to go home, but he couldn't go anywhere until he got his car keys and wallet from his locker.

By the time the elevator arrived, Jack was about ready to take the stairs instead. He headed straight to the locker room. Not seeing Daniel there, he opened the man's locker and saw his friend's keys and wallet sitting on the shelf. Okay, so if Daniel hadn't left the base, then where was he?

That's when Jack remembered something. After the second time Daniel locked himself out of his car, Jack had told him to get a spare key and hide it under the car in one of those magnetic key holders. For once, Daniel actually followed his advice.

"Crap."

Jack went to a phone and called the main guard station at the entrance to the complex.

"This is Colonel O'Neill. Has Doctor Jackson left the base?"

"Yes, sir. He left just a few minutes ago."

"Thanks."

Making an effort not to slam the receiver down, Jack hung up. _Now_ what was he going to do? Calling Daniel would be a waste of time since it was a safe bet that he wouldn't answer.

Jack sat on a bench and ran his hands through his hair.

_'Well, you really screwed up this time, didn't you.' _

At this very moment, Daniel was probably out there somewhere thinking that Sam was dating him only because she couldn't be with Jack. Even if he could get Daniel to listen to him, he didn't know what he could say to change the man's mind.

Could Daniel be right? Jack really didn't think that Sam would do something like that, but he couldn't be a hundred percent sure . . . unless he asked.

Damn. This was _so_ not something he wanted to do. But, for Daniel's sake, he had to.

He returned to the elevator and went to Level 19. Sam was typing something on her computer when he came in.

"Hello, sir," she greeted with a smile.

"Carter, we have to talk."

Her smile vanished, replaced by an expression of trepidation.

"About . . . about what, sir?"

"Meet me on Level 17. This needs to be done in private, with no interruptions."

Jack turned on his heels and walked out, leaving a worried Sam in his wake. After several seconds, she left the lab and headed to Level 17, which contained mostly storage areas and empty rooms that were occasionally used for a variety of purposes. It was unlikely that anyone else would be there.

Sam found Jack in one of the empty rooms, pacing back and forth.

"Sir, what is this about?" she asked, afraid that it had something to do with hers and Daniel's relationship.

Jack stared at her searchingly. "I know that you and Daniel are dating."

Sam blushed and dropped her gaze to the floor.

"Do you love him?"

The blunt question had Sam's head jerking back up. "Sir! That's a very personal question."

"Yes, it is, and, normally, I wouldn't be asking it, but . . . circumstances have made it necessary."

Sam frowned. "What kind of circumstances?"

Jack suddenly looked very uncomfortable. "Daniel and I had a conversation, and certain . . . things were unintentionally revealed . . . by me."

_'Oh no. Please don't let him be saying what I think he's saying.' _

"Dammit, Carter, I spilled the beans," Jack blurted out. "When he told me that you guys were dating, I reacted, and he figured out what was going on between me and you. I couldn't deny it without lying to him, so I had to tell him."

Tightness was building inside Sam's chest. "W-what did he say?"

"Actually, he really didn't say anything, but it was pretty clear what he was thinking." Jack paused. "I'd guess that you're smart enough to figure out what he was thinking, too."

Sam was now starting to feel sick. Yes, she did know. Daniel was thinking that she was dating him because she couldn't have the man she really loved.

"I-I-I have to talk to him," she stammered. "I have to tell him it's not true."

Jack gazed at her intently. "You _do_ love him."

"Yes," Sam whispered. "I love him."

Jack accepted the admission, clamping down on the twinge of pain in his heart.

"You and I never actually talked about this thing," he said, "not after that Zatarc stuff."

Sam's gaze fell back to the floor. "I, um . . . I do care about you, sir. It's just that, what with regulations and everything, nothing could come of it, so I just tried to put it out of my mind."

"Me too."

Sam was feeling more uncomfortable by the second. "I eventually realized that what I felt wasn't . . . wasn't exactly what I thought it was."

Jack realized that she was telling him she wasn't really in love with him. That hurt.

"And then you fell in love with Daniel," he said.

"No. I-I mean, this thing with Daniel didn't really start happening until this last weekend. Before then. . . ." Sam didn't continue, not wanting to admit to her C.O. what she'd come to realize about her feelings for Daniel.

Jack took in what she was saying. So, these feelings Sam had for Daniel were brand new. It didn't really matter, though, did it. The point was that she loved Daniel . . . and _didn't_ love him. This was something he had to accept and live with.

Jack took a good look inside himself. Though it hurt to know that Sam now loved someone else, it wasn't tearing him apart, not like it did when he came home from that first mission to Abydos only to discover that Sara was gone. Maybe these feelings for Sam really were going away.

This really was for the best. Sam could have the life with Daniel that she could never have had with him. And she deserved that. So did Daniel.

"I'm okay with this, Sam," he said.

She looked at him.

"Yeah, it bothered me when I found out that you and Daniel were dating, but let's face it. The two of us would never have worked out, even if the regs weren't in the way. You're way better off with Daniel, who actually doesn't mind listening to your technobabble. And he'll never drag you off to go fishing or to a hockey game."

Sam almost smiled at the comment.

"Go talk to him, Sam. Tell him that you love him. If there's one thing I know for sure, it's that he is completely head over heels in love with you."

"Is he still here?"

"No, he left. I tried to stop him, but . . . he was upset."

Sam turned and hurried out of the room. She went straight to the locker room and got changed. A while later, she was in her car and heading down the mountain. She had a feeling that Daniel was not going to want to see or talk to her, so she was going to have to get tough.

When she got to his apartment, she saw that his car wasn't there. Where was he? Where would he go?

Knowing that he had to come home eventually, Sam parked her car where he wouldn't see it, then went up to his apartment. She let herself in with the key he gave her so that she could feed his fish whenever he was stuck in the infirmary.

Sam wandered around the apartment for a while, studying the artifacts and pieces of art that he'd collected. Then she looked at his books. After that, she paced. An hour crawled by. It was now dark outside.

Picking a book, Sam curled up on the couch and tried to read, but her eyes spent more time looking at the clock than at the pages of the book. Yet another hour passed. She was starting to get worried. She went back to the window and saw that it had begun to snow. That made her even more worried. It was dangerous enough driving in snow, but for someone to do so when they were upset and probably not paying a lot of attention to the road was far worse.

Sam got her cell phone and called Daniel's. The call went straight to voice mail, meaning that the phone was either turned off or not working.

"Where are you, Daniel?" she asked aloud. "Please come home."

* * *

With a weary sigh Daniel approached the door of his apartment. His need to escape had put him on the highway, where he drove blindly, paying no attention to where he was going, ignoring the little voice that told him he shouldn't be doing this without his wallet and wearing BDUs. At least he'd had the presence of mind to take the patches off.

By the time he stopped, he'd gone over forty miles. He then just sat in his car, trying to deal with the terrible pain inside his heart. Sam would never love him. She loved Jack. Had she chosen to date him only because she couldn't have the man she really wanted? Daniel didn't want to believe that. He wanted to believe that she'd dated him because she thought she might get over her feelings for Jack and come to care about him instead.

He should have known this happiness wouldn't last. He'd let himself hope, and, now, he'd paid the price. He didn't know what he was going to do now. How could he stay when every time he looked at Sam, it would be like a knife going through his heart?

Daniel opened his door, frowning when he saw that the light was on. And then he saw Sam. For a moment, he had the urge to turn and run away. Instead, he stepped inside and closed the door.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, his voice already trembling. "God, Sam. You knew I loved you, yet you let me hope that you could love me back when, all this time, you've been in love with Jack." Tears filled his eyes. "How could you do that?"

"Daniel, no!" Sam cried, hurrying forward. "It wasn't like that at all! Yes, I did have feelings for Jack, but I recently started questioning what I really felt for him. I finally realized that it wasn't nearly as strong as I'd thought it was. Maybe it was more than just an infatuation, but it was never the true love I believed it to be."

Daniel turned and walked over to stare out the French doors leading onto the balcony.

"Please tell me the truth, Sam," he whispered. "Did you agree to date me because you couldn't be with Jack?"

Sam came up to him. "No. Please believe me, Daniel. Dating you had nothing to do with Jack. I chose to date you because I _wanted_ to, because I believed that we might be able to have something good together. And now I know that we can." She took the final step between them. "Daniel, I _love_ you."

Daniel's heart skipped a beat, his breath freezing in his lungs. For several seconds, he couldn't move, afraid that if he moved even one muscle, this moment would shatter, and the words Sam just spoke would disappear.

At last, he turned his face to her. There were tears in her eyes, eyes that were pleading for him to believe her. He gazed long into those eyes, seeking the truth of her words.

In the end, it was not her eyes that showed him but her lips, when she crossed the distance between them, cupped his face in her hands, and brought her mouth to his. Daniel engulfed her in an embrace and let himself go.

The kiss was like two atoms fusing. Sam soon had Daniel pressed against the glass of the French doors, one of her hands already under his shirt, their mouths locked in a kiss of insatiable hunger. Daniel's right hand left its spot on her back and descended to grasp her hip. He pressed his hips hard against hers, making her moan with need. She ripped her lips from his, took his hand, and pulled him toward the bedroom.

Daniel's heart was threatening to come flying right out of his chest. The blood was pounding through his veins like a drum. And when, upon reaching the bedroom, Sam turned to him and proceeded to strip off her top, revealing her beautiful upper body clad in nothing but a white bra, he was afraid that he was going to pass out. Managing to remain conscious, he covered the distance between them in a single stride, lifted her up, and laid down upon her on the bed.

The weight of Daniel on top of her, his mouth hot and demanding on hers, sent the desire inside Sam spiraling completely out of control. She fisted her hands in his shirt and dragged it up over his head, his glasses coming off in the process. One of her bra straps had slipped off her shoulder, the cup it was attached to sliding down a little. Feeling the soft, smooth skin beneath it come into contact with his own skin, Daniel lifted a hand and pulled the material down the rest of the way.

Sam gasped as his hand covered her breast, his fingers stroking her. She managed to reach behind her back and unfasten the bra. It soon lay forgotten somewhere on the floor.

How they managed to get the rest of their clothing off without separating was something they didn't know. They only knew that the press of their fully naked bodies against each other had both of them trembling with the need to take the final step of consummation.

Daniel sat upright, his legs folded beneath him, pulling Sam up with him. His mouth fell upon her neck, kissing down its length, his tongue tasting her skin as he descended to the valley between her breasts. One of his hands rose back to her right breast, the touch of his fingers wrenching another gasp from Sam's throat. His hands were soon replaced by his lips, his body inflamed with desire.

"God, Daniel," Sam gasped. "I want. . . ." Her voice trailed off in a moan as his lips grew bolder.

Daniel's head lifted, and his eyes met hers. Sam saw passion in the brilliant blue depths, but also tenderness and so much love that it made her breath catch in her throat. His hand rose, fingers gently caressing her cheek, her jaw, her lips.

"I love you," he whispered.

Sam cupped his cheek and smiled into his eyes. "And I love you."

With his eyes locked upon hers in an intense gaze, Daniel took that final step of consummation. A shuddering sigh issued from their lips at the feeling of their bodies uniting for the first time. For Daniel, it was a union more than just of him and Sam. It was as if the souls of Lantash and Martouf still lived within him and were at last experiencing the joy that they had so dearly wanted for so long.

Eyes closing in pleasure, the lovers began to move, slowly, gently, feeling like nothing could ever feel better than this. Daniel's mouth returned to Sam's throat. She tangled her hand in his hair as she let herself get utterly lost in the lovemaking. It had never felt so good, so perfect, like this was how it was always supposed to be between them.

Daniel's emotions were nearly overpowering him, his love for Sam combining with the love that Lantash and Martouf had felt for her into something so strong that he was almost crying. He grasped her more tightly, wanting to be here with her like this forever.

As they rose on the tide of passion, their movements gradually grew faster. Small cries rose from their throats, their senses swirling in a haze of rapture. Daniel was so close to going over, hanging on the edge of an ecstasy he had not experienced in five long years. And then Sam began to shudder in his arms as she reached climax. With a cry to match her own, he hurled over the precipice with her in a powerful rush that overwhelmed his senses.

Sam's cry was close to a scream as her whole body was overcome by the exquisite ecstasy, her mind nearly blacking out from the force of it. She was distantly aware of Daniel finding his own release, but so lost was she in the fire that conscious thought was impossible.

By the time their climaxes reached their conclusion, all Daniel and Sam could do was cling to each other, the sound of their blood pounding fiercely in their ears. As soon as he felt strong enough to move, Daniel laid down with Sam upon the bed, coming to rest upon her. He began placing soft kisses on her face, his fingers sweeping back sweat-dampened tendrils of hair. At last he looked at her. There was no need for either of them to say anything. It was all in their eyes. Sam pulled Daniel's lips down to hers in a long, slow kiss that said "I love you" more completely than any spoken words ever could.

The emotional impact of what she'd just experienced with Daniel was threatening to overwhelm Sam. Never before had she cried after lovemaking, but she was so close to it now. She didn't want to cry, thinking it would make her appear weak and silly. But then Daniel gently cupped her cheek and turned her gaze to his, and she saw the brightness of tears in his eyes. Sam's own tears welled up and spilled over. As Daniel kissed them away, she tasted the salty wetness of his tears fall upon her lips. When he at last lifted his head, she wiped the wetness from his cheeks, smiling up at him.

"I wish there were words to tell you how much I love you," he said.

"You don't need words, Daniel. I already know. It's the same way I feel about you."

The new lovers got under the covers. Daniel drew Sam down to lie snuggled beneath his chin, his hand softly stroking her back. He heard her sigh contentedly.

"Sam?"

"Hmm?"

"If things had happened differently on Revanna, if Lantash hadn't gone into me, do you think that we'd ever have gotten together?"

Sam gave serious thought to the question. "I honestly don't know. Before that happened, I really didn't think of you this way."

"Me too. To be honest, I had no desire to be with _any_ woman. I was still hurting too much over losing Sha're."

The mention of Daniel's dead wife made Sam's thoughts go off in that direction. He had loved Sha're so much, and it had been less than a year and a half since she died. Could Daniel truly—

"Don't, Sam," Daniel commanded quietly.

Sam lifted her head and looked down at him. "Don't what?"

"Don't start wondering if my feelings for Sha're are going to affect how I feel for you."

Shocked that he'd known what she was thinking, she stared at him. "Daniel, are you psychic?"

"No, but I could feel you tensing up, and it wasn't much of a stretch to figure out what you were thinking." Daniel's eyes caught hers. "I loved Sha're very much. Before you, she was the only woman I ever truly loved. I think that a part of me will never stop loving her and missing her." He touched Sam's face. "But what I feel for you, Sam, it's . . . it's like all my life I've been waiting for the one woman who could be everything to me, more than just a lover and life companion, a woman with whom I could share every facet of my life, someone I felt both an emotional and mental bond with. With Sarah I had the mental bond, but, though I cared about her a lot, I never really loved her."

"And Sha're?"

Daniel paused for a moment. "Sha're was very excited about learning the history of her people and expanding her reading and language skills. She wanted to know all about Earth and my people. But, beyond that, she was content to just be my wife. When I started searching Abydos for more archeological sites, it wasn't Sha're who came with me, it was Tobay and some of the other boys. I don't like to admit it, but it disappointed me sometimes that Sha're lacked that spark of desire to learn all there is to learn, to explore and see what's out there." His gaze returned to Sam's eyes. "And then I met you. When you and I had our . . . epiphany in the cartouche room, I realized how much I'd missed sharing that kind of intellectual connection with someone."

Daniel stroked Sam's cheek. "You are everything I could possibly want, Sam." He smiled. "You're perfect."

A grin formed on Sam's face. "Boy, are you ever in for a letdown, Daniel, if you think I'm perfect."

Daniel laughed softly. "Okay, then you're perfect for me. How's that?"

"Better." Sam gave him a kiss. "I feel the same way about you. Actually, I feel really stupid that I didn't see it before. You _are_ perfect for me. Before I met Jonas Hanson, the men I was attracted to the most were guys like you, brilliant and compassionate. Narim and Martouf had those qualities." She looked closely at Daniel. "I know what you're wondering. What about the colonel? We both know he's a lot smarter than he pretends to be, but he really isn't at all like you in most ways."

"You can say _that_ again," Daniel responded in amusement.

"I think the thing with Jack was a whole lot like my relationship with Jonas, although Jack is ten times the man Jonas ever was."

Daniel smiled. "And not exactly what I'd describe as the lunatic fringe."

Sam laughed. "I forgot that I told you that about Jonas. Yes, I admit that I was attracted to that air of danger about him. But it was more than just that. Jonas was charismatic, had a fun sense of humor, and was loaded with charm. There was a quality about him that appealed to the side of me that admires a strong, take charge kind of guy. He was a natural-born leader, just like Jack. The problem was that he was also egotistical and a control freak, something I blinded myself to until I couldn't anymore. But, even if that hadn't been the case, the relationship with Jonas would have eventually ended because he would never have been able to give me what I really needed to be happy. We just weren't compatible enough. I guess I didn't learn my lesson because I went and fell for the colonel even though common sense should have told me that he and I were no more compatible than Jonas and I had been." Sam smiled at Daniel and brushed a finger over his lips. "But I got it right this time."

Sam's smile faded. "There's something you should know. After I figured out that I was in love with you, I thought back on these years, and I realized that, although I thought that all I felt for you was friendship all that time, I now know that it was more, right from that first day I met you. But, in the beginning, you were married, and then I started developing the feelings for Jack. I blinded myself to the truth about how much you really meant to me."

Daniel accepted Sam's words, understanding how a person could fail to see what was right before their eyes. He'd done the very same thing, failing to see even after Sha're's death what Sam could really be to him.

"There are none so blind as those who will not see," he murmured.

"No truer words were ever spoken."

"But I really do think that, if we had met before I went on the mission to Abydos, I'd have fallen head over heels for you right off."

Sam smiled. "Really?"

"Absolutely. Then, after the mission was over, I'd have come back to you, and, by now, we'd probably be married and have a kid or two."

Sam's smile widened into a grin. She really liked that thought.

Daniel pulled her mouth to his. "I suppose we should go back to the base," he said when their lips separated. "We are supposed to be working today."

"Well, technically, I had permission from my C.O. to leave, and you being a civilian, they can't arrest you for being AWOL."

"No, they'll just dock my pay," Daniel responded, smiling.

"With the hours you normally put in? Not hardly. How often do you actually take off the days you're supposed to have off?"

"Um . . . not often."

"I rest my case."

Daniel lifted an eyebrow. "You know, the same is true about you, Sam."

"Yes, I know. We _both_ work too much."

Daniel brushed a hand across Sam's body. "Not anymore. From now on, I plan to take advantage of every day off."

Sam began to smile. "You do, huh?"

"Uh huh." One of his fingers began drawing patterns on her breast, making her respiration speed up. "There are certain things I can do on my days off that I can't while at work."

Sam's breath caught in her throat as Daniel's fingers grew bolder. "What . . . what sort of things," she breathed.

"I think you can figure that one out for yourself, Sam," Daniel replied just before taking her mouth in a passionate kiss.

What followed was Sam being pleasured like never before. Daniel devoted all of his energy to driving Sam wild with ecstasy. He brought her to a crashing climax using just his mouth and hands. After it was over, she lay panting, her whole body still vibrating with sensations. Once she'd recovered, she decided that it was only fair to return the favor and sent Daniel on a rapturous journey into the stratosphere. He came crying her name. In the aftermath, he lay in silent recovery for several moments.

"I'd almost forgotten how good it feels to have this with someone," he finally said.

"There's been no one since Sha're?"

"No." _'Not willingly,'_ he added silently. Refusing to think about Hathor, he continued. "I'm not the kind of guy who's into casual sex, so going out and finding some woman to . . . satisfy those needs was not appealing to me. In case you're wondering, Shyla and I never had sex. The laws of her people required that she remain a virgin until her wedding night."

"There hasn't been anyone for me either, not since before I became a part of SG-1. I've . . . been lonely sometimes. I tried to pretend that I was fine, that I didn't need that in my life, but I was just fooling myself."

Daniel pulled her close. "I've been lonely, too, Sam." He gazed at her. "But not anymore. Neither of us will ever have to be lonely again."

Sam brought her lips to his. "I don't want to go back to the base. I want to stay with you for the rest of the day."

"Could you call and say that you're not coming back, that something personal has come up?"

"I'm sure I probably could."

Sam made the call and got through to General Hammond's aide. She told the man that something off-base required her attention and that, if it was all right with the general, she'd be back at work first thing in the morning. The aide told her to hold on while he talked to Hammond. He came back on the line a few moments later and passed on the message that the general said that was fine.

Sam hung up the phone and went back into Daniel's arms. "All taken care of. I'm all yours for the rest of the day."

Daniel smiled. "That's good, because I have a whole lot planned for you."

"Mmm. I can't wait to find out what."

* * *

The remainder of the daylight hours were spent mostly in bed, the new lovers coming to know each other's bodies in intimate detail. In between time, they talked, sharing still more intimate things. For the first time since Sha're's death, Daniel really opened up to someone about it, confessing the terrible depths of his grief and pain. Sam held him as he cried over the death of the woman who had been his first true love. In turn, Sam talked about the sorrows of her own life, culminating with her mother's death. Then it was Daniel who held her as she cried.

At six o'clock, they finally got up, showered and got dressed. They were both starving and decided to go out to dinner.

"I'd like to go home and change into something a little nicer," Sam said.

"Okay. How about if we meet at the restaurant? Say 7:30?"

"Perfect."

They decided on a restaurant, one that didn't need a reservation, then Daniel walked Sam out to her car. The couple shared a long kiss.

"See you in an hour," Daniel said. He watched as Sam got in her car and drove away.

Back in his apartment, Daniel went through his closet to decide on what to wear. He pulled out the beautiful suede jacket that had been Sam's Christmas present, deciding that, this time, he was going to take the chance and wear it. He turned back to the closet, and his eyes fell upon something, an empty box sitting on the floor. The box had contained Jack's present to him. That made Daniel think about his friend and the feelings the man had for the woman who was now Daniel's lover.

Daniel worried about what this might mean for his friendship with Jack. Things had not been the greatest in the world between them these past couple of years, but Daniel still considered Jack to be one of his best friends. He didn't want to lose that friendship. But would Jack be able to handle seeing him and Sam together?

Daniel decided that he needed to talk to Jack and that it couldn't wait until tomorrow.

Changing into the clothes he'd wear for his date with Sam, Daniel drove over to Jack's house. He sat in the car for a couple of minutes, trying to formulate the words he was going to say. He then got out and went to the door.

Jack was a little surprised when he answered the door to find Daniel on the other side. He studied the man's features, trying to gauge the archeologist's mood. What he saw answered the question in his mind.

"You and Carter got everything straightened out."

"Yeah. Yeah, we did."

"Good. I'm glad." Jack stepped back from the door. "Come on in."

Daniel entered the house, searching the older man's eyes. "I'm sorry, Jack."

"Don't be. I told Carter that I was okay with this, so now I'll tell you the same thing."

"But is it really true? Are you really okay? Please tell me the truth, Jack."

"All right." Jack walked further into the room, Daniel following him. "I'm not gonna lie and say it doesn't hurt at all, because it does. I still care about her in ways that I shouldn't, but just caring about someone isn't enough." He looked straight into Daniel's eyes. "I have never been the smartest guy around, but I'm smart enough to see that the thing between Sam and I could never have been more than a brief romance. It wouldn't have survived the long haul. All the love in the world isn't going keep a relationship going forever if two people don't have much of anything else to build a foundation on. Sara and I were good together. We had a lot in common. But me and Sam. . . . I'd lay odds that we'd have been at each other's throats within a few months. What you and she have is different, till death do us part kind of stuff."

"I don't want this to affect our friendship, Jack."

"It won't."

Daniel's gaze sharpened even more. "And what about the team? Are you going to be able to see me and Sam together on missions and not be bothered by it? I know that, in your position, I would be. In fact, I don't know if I could have handled it."

"Well, you see, Daniel. That's one of the ways that our situations are different. As much as I cared about Sam, my job always took precedence. If it hadn't, I'd have resigned so that I could be with her. But _you_ would walk away from the program and never look back if it was the only way you could be with her."

"Yes, I would," Daniel confirmed. He'd been considering leaving the program when he thought he _couldn't_ have her. He'd quit in a heartbeat if it was the only way they could be together.

"Don't worry about me, Daniel. This is the way it should be. You and Carter are the ones who belong together. So, I don't want you guys feeling uncomfortable around me. Got it?"

After a moment, Daniel nodded his head. "Got it." There was a brief pause. "Well, um . . . I need to go. Sam and I have a date."

"Sure. Go have fun. Don't forget, though, that we have a mission in the morning, so don't stay up all night."

Embarrassed by what Jack was implying, Daniel simply nodded. He went to the door, Jack coming with him.

"Daniel, there's something I want you to know," the older man said. "When I thought that you might decide to quit the SGC and go back to being an archeologist, it . . . bothered me. You told me that you had begun to question your place on the team, wondering what purpose you really had. Well, I'll tell you what that purpose is. It's being who you are, a guy who's way too smart for his own good, who's so stubborn that his skull might as well be made from titanium, and who will fight every single time for what he knows is right. You are still a pain in the ass, and you probably always will be, but . . ." Jack paused a moment, then uttered words he should have said a long time ago, "but I admire you, Daniel, and the kind of man that you are."

Stunned, Daniel didn't know what to say. How long had it been since Jack had said anything like that to him? A very long time.

"Thank you," he finally said. "It . . . it means a lot to hear you say that."

Jack nodded once in reply.

"You don't have to worry about me quitting, Jack. There's no longer any reason for me to leave. I now have everything I could possibly want right here."

A little smile came to Jack's lips. "I think I can say, Daniel, that that's the best news I've had in quite a while." His eyes met Daniel's. "Welcome home, Danny."

Hearing Jack call him 'Danny' for the first time in years made Daniel smile, a weight that had been upon his heart lifting at last.

As he made his way to his car, the archeologist sent a silent word of thanks to Lantash. In taking Daniel as his host, the Tok'ra had forever altered the course of Daniel's life, ultimately resulting in him finding a level of peace and happiness that he might never have found otherwise. He didn't know what the road ahead might bring, but he did know that he would never again feel like he didn't belong. He knew where he belonged: right here with his friends and the woman he'd love for the rest of his life. No place else could compare to that.

EPILOGUE

"Mail call," Adam Fenway said as he stuck his head into Mick's tent. "Looks like you're a popular man this time around." He entered and handed the New Yorker some letters. "You got five."

"Ah, no doubt from all the lovely ladies back home pining away for me."

Adam smiled. "Maybe the other four, but one of those is definitely not from a lady."

Wondering from whom the mysterious fifth letter could be, Mick turned his attention to the mail as Adam left. He smiled when he got to the third envelope in the pile.

"Ah, Daniel. About time we heard from you, my boy," he murmured.

It had been almost three weeks since Daniel left for home, and Mick had been wondering what was going on. Would the contents of this letter be the news that the archeologist was coming back or that he'd chosen to stay? Mick hoped that it was the former. He missed having Daniel around here. There was just something about that young man that made you care about him.

Truth be told, what Mick _really_ wanted to read in this letter was that Daniel _wasn't_ coming back because the woman who'd captured his heart had decided to stop being an idiot and return his affections, but the Irishman didn't hold out much hope for that.

Sitting down on his cot, Mick tore the envelope open.

Two minutes later, the rest of the camp heard the sound of a very loud outcry, an exceedingly enthusiastic exclamation of a single word:

"Yahoooooo!"

THE END


End file.
